20/08/2015

Are there more broken homes now than ever?



  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Why are there more broken homes now than ever? It isn't about women becoming free but as a result of what they had seen their parents go through.
    You can bet not a dull moment.

    Just a thought, if everyone is on a defence who will be in attack? i am a wing left shooter i get bumps from defensive drivers :)

    I learnt from hard knocks, i realised i was told as a kid to be nice to everyone, and then i understood i needed to adopt better negotiation skills. Say yes only when i want to and when it brings some objective benefit to a maximum.

  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie  because it was an artificial created environment. ie built on rules of falsehood. if the 2 had parenting counselling before they go in, both will develop a bond through their responsibilities. when you make it about man and wife, then you will have a hassle bound environment. broken homes always existed, when you see a woman and a man having nothing mutual they do but sleep in one bed butts facing each other, that marriage is broken. just cos a woman stays in the same house as you don't mean she doesn't wish she was somewhere else, a man who is having affairs outside like everyday, would not come home for days and no explanation, having 3 concubines he sponsors is a guy who has no home. a man that finds out that 3 out of the 5 kids he has is not his was a broken home, our african society has done so much to justify having numerous women that we are deluded. a boy who grows up in a home where he knows his dad, means the dad is always present. mums cant bring up men. a man knows himself when he knows his dad, and endurance on the part of the woman wouldn't make a man be present in his home if he runs away from parenthood. marriage don't scare men, its parenthood. they don't know how cos they never saw their dads do anything, the picture in their mind is that of mother was there so wife must be there. and remember guys this isn't to make you feel guilty every time u cheer up a guy for having some fine chick when his wife is at home with the kids, you are doing no service to the child that hasn't seen his dad to say good night to or play a soccer game with. we women are not pained actually about ourselves we keep ourselves busy, if men and women will be honest on this thread, what are the main issues that arise when in quarrel Money? our women are making more money this days, its the total absence from the kids life. me and my bro would be nothing if dad wasn't in our lives.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Exactly..... But the consequence of this phenomenom I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ world insecurity
  • Lola Omolola Because more women now have the financial and emotional stability to dump the so-called deadbeat men in their lives. They used to just 'live with it' and now, society is more permissible toward them leaving unhappy marriages. THANK GOD!
  • Ehighelua Ikhide Loss of values and control!
  • Chris Odua Lola, are you thanking God for an absurd situation?, the family is a microcosm of the larger society. A disjointed society made up of broken homes is a very dangerous place to live in, women are the most vulnerable to violence. Food for thought.

  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Chris women have been and are more violated in societies that cage them. women are not tools! and i am not saying this because i am a woman but because the only thing that differentiates a man from a woman are the reproductive "sex" organs. i am not a feminist, but i will never be a rug. if the man dosnt know his manners you take it out from him, and if need be by cleaver force. a home where someone feels violated is not a home, its a farce that breeds sociopaths.
  • Chris Odua Alsu, your point is well taken, any relationship deserves a mutual respect, no sex barred; afterall, it takes two to tangle. My grudge with Lola Topia really is that she deminishes the value of marriage if what she can see in it is the material aspect only, as if the enpowerment of women heralds the dearth of marriage. I feel that an empowered woman is a plus to the home, her resources is for her prosper her home and not to be used as an arsenal to war against her home. I dont know the marital status of Lola, but I must remind her that single motherhood is not easy, a woman needs the authority of the father to raise up well bred children.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie i understand your position. but i must say single mothers my have financial difficulties, but when you look at their kids they dont blame her for that, they blame her if she takes out her frustrations on them. i find it more easier to cope with it than when i was married. men even if they have billions in their account never find happiness if they are unable to grab that last penny that the Neighbour had taken. men bring into the home what they cant deal with outside. and take away from the inside to the outside. i have seen it i have unfortunately lived it. Chris if single motherhood was hard for women we will seek to remarry again, most women cant deal with the man not the function of partnership, women are partnership creature, men want to do things themselves. life is easier to bear when you have a healthy attitude to life, i have met very miserable rich men that have no wealth in their heart, and have been happy with those who had little in their pockets but a big heart that plans with and talks to me.
  • Lola Omolola Mr. Chris Odua, Your rush to label me restricts you from seeing that: I clearly am referring to People in MISERABLE alliances which i will repeat does NOTHING for the enhancement of the home-life & since we know that most 'broken homes' are results of unhealthy and non-mutually beneficial relationships, then QUITing them, growing from that and seeking brighter, more fulfilling options is NOT a negative. Oh, and by the way, I am married to the love of my life and man of my dreams who YES, has worked 'with me' to create a strong, mutually-exciting life for 17 years. Just being 'Married' should NEVER be the yardstick by which a SOUND HOME should be judged, being married HAPPILY should be. Kapish?
  • Lola Omolola uhm...did you say 'a woman needs the authority of the father to raise up well bred children?' - I emphatically disagree. She most certainly DOES NOT! Barack Obama was raised by a single mother. What I say is "a woman needs the participation of a GOOD father. See the difference? This sums up my position and it Clarifies yours for us all.
  • Isaac Ogieriakhi WE HAVE NEGLECTED OUR ROLES IN FAMILY MOLDING,EDUCATION, ENLIGHTENMENT,MORAL BUILDING,RELIGIOUS ETHICS,SOCIAL VALUES,FAITH IN SELF,FAMILY,AND NATION IN SEARCH FOR WEALTH WITH CORRUPT TENDENCY,LACK OF VALUE AND RESPECT FOR THE UNION OF FAMILY BONDING, PRETENSE AND DECEPTION NOW ARE THE COLOR OF OUR ACTIONS AND INTENT,THIS SEEDS HAVE GROWN AND THE FRUITS IS MORE BROKEN HOME!, FOR WE NO LONGER KNOW AND HAVE VALUE FOR THE UNION WE SWORE OATH TO.
  • James Clarke I wonder how one qualifies that, though. If you look at times like Victorian England (e.g. Charles Dickens stories) it seems like there have always been a lot of broken homes
  • Chris Odua If this is how woman now feel about marriage and family life, then I think its time we scrap the institution of marriage and let the men sell their sperm to sperm banks and pay prostitutes for sex.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Lol chris odua the price of sex wil go up, and homosexuals wil take over
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Chris, if the reason men marry is to sow their outs and use women for self gratification and pose the status, why surprised that women are feeling the way they do?
  • Lola Omolola Perfect comeback Alsu. I recognize his point of view - its that of the 1820 caveman. Good thing, women can now afford to do thesame! and to take it further, hire a surrogate to CARRY the baby to term. Game ON! 
    my larger point being - We all seek happiness, its no particular gender's birthright.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie James thats the point many are carrying the notion that there have never been this much broken homes.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie rather than focusing on helping people come back together or be able to live with it, the society is putting further pressure on the broken families as a crime. this is a great threat to men cos without a woman a man is lost. but we arnt mothers to them, and they arnt our fathers. personally i get tired of people who in the bid to want to look righteous use big words to cover up their own unhapiness rather than just accept that sometimes you miss the boat but another ship is coming. divorce for me is accepting that you made a mistake and that isnt a crime. if there are those who are afraid tho see someone free being happy and their spouse may be lured by it, then they should situp and make good. many who are married are so miserable they actually envy those who have been freed. the singles are also fearful and passing judgements instead of asking questions why it went wrong. kids are laughed at by their peers cos they hear the judgement their parents have passed to their hearing.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga The danger is this kids growing up 2 have more broken homes.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie the thing is in our african society women are coerced into marriage by their parents as a method of getting rid of them and having someone else to pul strings financially or emotionally. when most get in in the first 10years they are questioning who they are, why they with the person they with cos the picture painted is wrong. guys are scared now cos they see that desperation in their actions, marriage is just an event not the end of life. when you see it this way you are likely to be careful at saying i love you to any and where ever. if i knew better and i dont regret i will never have kids, but we again live in the society that says what the hell are u barren? we dont have to scrap marriage we have to redefine the parameters so the kids dont go into it for the wrong reasons. when as an adult you dont know yourself you dont know the person and clearly subjected to the belief you as a woman shouldn't assess the person then you heading for even worse of damage. if the puzle dont fit, dont force it.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Daniel i know alot of kids who say haleluya it ended you will be surprised. kids as soon as they are 16 have their own life. i have step kids never did i allow their father an excuse to put his hands down cos he was at fight with their mum. what hurts them is that while they were growing they shouldnt be abused, and while grown not to be neglected. i work with alot of youth, mostly kids who are runaways from school and boy the rubbish i have to work with for emotions and all they say why dont they just take their squabbles away from us, they have began to hate their parents even, pay our school fees so that we dont have to repeat their mistakes. kids are selfish and rightfully so cos them parents are selfish too. Pay their Care and school fees and keep your guilt out of the way.
  • Lola Omolola Applause!!! Alsu. It takes a special kind of woman to vacate a sinking ship. It takes GUTS to choose your own definition of Happiness. Our society is full of people who by their own choice or not, are living in tortured silence while they wallow in Misery & cover-up their pain by Insulting those who revolt against the injustices they themselves face in secret. I am ONLY married because I LOVE being married to the man I chose. Its a sad day when people forget that each human's right to comfort is the 'greatest love of all'. [Fact] Children thrive in a loving environment - and miserable mothers have a hard time raising confident children. Let's address those issues instead of finding YET another reason to blame women for the downfall of a family life that was a disaster to begin with Mr. Chris Odua
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie there is an epidemic and has always been with the men folk we never used to see it in the african seting cos there were always extended families around. yes we women have become intolerable and intolerant but a woman has long patience until she turns the table. who is anyone fooling when half the men in our society are fathering kids they dont know. when a wife has her own room separated by a long corridor, and our societies promiscuity??? comon guys we not blind, things have got to change, better stay single for life. i have 3 daughters and what they saw me through i dont have to tell them the story for them to be weary. as much as every man is different, subjugation isnt a coverup for I DONT CARE. the american women have found an alternative, the other day i was talking to a friend who voiced out a protest against women having IVF well if men are finding replacement through prostitutes and affairs then whats there for a babe to do?
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga An eye 4 an eye makes d whole world blind. M. Ghandi
  • Lola Omolola and what do you call continually POKING & BLINDING thesame person throughout history? Slavery. Slaves always Revolt and that shakes up society for good or bad. Doing NOTHING is no longer an option sir!
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Daniel when you are poking the eyes of the kids while teling them Your father  and I love each other thats mutilation. i know a family where the father and mother lived in the marriage for 50 years, the guy stayed because of his kids, he would live 6 months at a time in nigeria and the other in England, now at the age of 80 he has finally said he cant anymore, the mother would complain and set strife between her kids and him, she is using her eldest son to keep the properties he is vowing to sell, the mother has broken the lives of her kids, the kids are sociopaths where they dont mix with anyone cos she tells them no one is good for them. and this has left 8 grand children living in broken home. now tell me this if she had the courage to leave after 10 years would her kids not be happily married? would her grand kids be with her? instead of trapping everyone cos she was trapped? there is no fury like a woman scorned and she burns the generations in her hell. i tell you women just as nature can be healing and can bring death.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Like u wrote earlier on alsu, a man is lost without a woman, bt a real wman in every sense of the word can make a home no matter what, i'm nt sayin she should endure humiliation, we wil continue dis issue much later, gt 2 go its my birthday
  • Lola Omolola Happy Happy Birthday Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga. As you celebrate, I wish you a safe, productive and happy day - today- and throughout the year ahead!
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Both took the vows both take the pressure woman must work, man must work! Family/ family 50/50 or surrender your balls! If u as a woman is lousy u sit up, 

    I once asked my bro I said hey try relax abit you need rest after work! He told me his work has
    ...See More
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie HBD dear! Love you loads! Xxx
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga *smile* lola topia i knew there was a gud side 2 u, thanks a mill, @alsu *hugs*
  • Lola Omolola LOL Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga. My claws only come out when i smell unfairness & get an opportunity to engage its advocates & perpetrators. Like all strong women, I spend my days smiling, praying and showing gratitude. wink emoticon
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga I hear, the guys aint sayin nuthn, guess d wmen are winners
  • Lola Omolola oh no, women are still losing. And so it shall continue to be UNTIL more women begin to stand up for ALL women instead of the petty bickering, ridiculous rivalries & mind-numbing shopping therapy. Men share a blame, but its the women whom are directly responsible for leaving their daughters, sisters and friends out in the sun to dry.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Lola i hope you are jamming the stations with topics o lol
  • Chris Odua I dont know what Lola is getting at, but I would like to remind her that getting into a relationship is by choice based on mutual interest, this war scenerio over marriage beats me hollow. Its either you want to marry or you dont, nobody wants an enemy as a wife. Pls stop transfering aggression.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Chris darling thats not true. if it was by choice many wouldn't up out so easy. when for a long period of your life you are told that thats where you should be heading, it almost is like brainwashing. how many couples for real ask each other questions? half the time they are so scared of driving the person away that they leave out those important questions that has to do with their interests, values and ambitions, in the process this is what they they are now exploring through arguments rather than acting it. maybe this is why you dont understand why there is this much talk about it. when women start dating they ask questions while the guy just wants to get in-between after a series of guys run they plain just keep quiet. i have also noticed that most of the time it is the parents that are now asking their kids questions that both should have been asking each other. in the process while being asked they both realise they dont know anything, parents jump int conclusions of their own and render their relationship useless.
  • Chris Odua So Alsu, in conclusion, is marriage a good thing for us and the society?, or do we abandon it and go gay?.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie the enemy isnt the two people its the fact that none of them know themselves and each other. it may sound sily to you and some that individuals dont know themselves, you would ask what were they doing with each other for maybe 2 years. 

    i made exactly
     the same decision as you said, whats there marry and work things as you go. he had a different side to it. he wanted i still dont understand what. when you say its either you marry or not and a kid hear this he/she is already pushed to make a decision that they dont understand. kids are not told that people are circumstance based, today if the sun shines they happy, if it dont they sad. circumstances influence us a lot. 

    i for one have developed a personality and a character that is the same all the time, and if i am affected by something i bounce back as soon as i realise. if you ask my parents they will confirm that alsu knew who she was since she was 2. but most peole are moody they like to develop a habit of staying in one thing for long until something kicks them out of it. we like to be shoved around, commanded, pushed, made decisions for. 

    its a habit that develops while growing with parents. how many proactive people have you met expecialy in Nigeria. were its visible that even the governments nonsense dosnt move us one bit. i knew me, where i was going, what i wanted to do but i didnt know him and he didnt know me, that i am not a dosile person, that as soon as something happens i pick up, and that i dont wait for trouble to trouble me, i trouble trouble so it leaves me, and if i do find myself in a situation i do not surrender, he knew from start that i have ambitions to grow and soare high, so when i was proactive about my life and business it evoked fear cos it questioned the assumtions he made CAN SHE BE THIS REAL AND SERIOUS?, althoe he didnt meet me and marry me from my fathers home, judgements were thrown left right and centre and exposed who was who to whom and everyone. 

    i assumed alot and i fel short of my expectations of him and i of me. i didnt realise i have a short tolerance to unasertive people about their life, career, and a love for people. i realised we totaly different, i like to guide and care, he wanted to be seclusive and live in a box, while i wanted out of the box and couldnt understand why the friendship he thrived and made him not feel trapped, i couldnt get it in return. i am a piece of work for many, some hate it, some marvel, some get confused, but i cant be everything to everyone. i make hard decisions, i stick to what i say, if its pink its pink and come what may, i didnt realise that for a wife to have a personality it is a taboo and hard is not what men want or can live with. i judged life based on my parents outlook to life, and marriage based on my parents marriage, my dad never stopped my mum from growing and he brought me up to be totally independent as i could be. but i wasnt aware that men arnt like my father. isnt marriage supposed to be about being with a person and complementing? i realised marriage isnt about that, i realised in my experience that marriage is about self acceptance on both parties, where they dont get personal about their differences cos thy know each other so well and know there is nothing personal, and if one cant do the other either dosnt disturb or substitutes. he wanted a housewife, but god sent him someone who isnt. he liked my spirit but couldnt handle it. God broke the mold the day he made me and i could be one in a billion, but for sake of life and the unpredictability of it it pays no one to be breaking no one. if you want a housewife tell your mum to scout for her friends daughter. if you want an active woman go look she is husling on the streets. i had made the call cos i realised i was wrong for him and we will forever be miserable. i thought that me being open and straight about who i am as i always am was what he was looking for i thought that that was what they call TRUST, i didnt realise with trust comes FEAR. smile emoticon
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie marriage is what develops society and should be entered Objectively, without emotions but there should be a chemistry.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie be Gay in your marriage, if you grey dont go in. there is always a choice, people are just told there isn't. men are allowed to peep and so it is with women.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga @chris does that answer u
  • Chris Odua Well, Dan, if in conclusion, Alsu agreed that "marriage is what develops society and should be entered Objectively, without emotions but there should be a chemistry", then I take that for an amswer.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga @chris have u forgotten the saying that women don't know what thay want. Meanwhile alsu agrees that 4 the sustnance of the human race we gets 2 marry
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie i am begining too think that its men that dont know what they want Dan
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Lol....... Whatever, women make the world go around!!!
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Greed has increased.
  • George Bayo Banjo Because, women keep fighting for equality. There can only be one captain of a ship, aircraft, or marriage
  • Eniosu Osayimwen George, the way the world has evolved, only one captain cannot run a vessel anymore O!
  • Chris Odua Eniosu, modern ship, ancient ship has always been ran by one captain presiding over a crew. Nothing change-o!.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga But guys in a ship, sub-marine, air, space or hover craft a navigator is key 2 the captain's success...... More so women are not beneath us to be trampled pon, neither are they above us, but they are and should be treated as our partners in progress, this whole broken home thing is so cos a lot of peeps are married out of peer, family and social influence, ask ourselves one question are u married 2 your friend, coz if u ain't shits gon hit da fan.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen All dis one na jege talk! We have to face reality. Women of the 20th century are not same with those now. In MOST houses, they are the ones in charge. Na husbands of such houses dey go "me? i am the only captain of me ship". For all one knows, she gave him a correct slap that day.
  • Lola Omolola what are you insinuating Eniosu Osayimwen? a man who recognizes the strength of his woman only does so because he's weak? Just the opposite is correct. It takes a STRONG man who has no paranoia about being emasculated, to appreciate and welcome the initiative of his woman.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Exactly lola the issues start when partners start competing 
    when 
    they shud compliment each other
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Lola TopiaEnwenwen Daniel Ibanga to dive into man & woman matter would take us the next 60years. Pointless. Once the doors of a household are shut, the outside world can never know exatcly wat goes on in there. To all the guys that have handed over captain rights to their wives, eya. To all the men that have held on tight to the rights despite "women rights" gaining more ground around the world, keep up the good job. As we are mostly africans in this forum, fact remains that tradition dictates a man to be the captain. Simple. The "complimenting" each other has being mis-allinged in some many cases I am aware of, one wonders wat gwan with such.
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga Chauvinistic approach 2 the issue on ground
  • George Bayo Banjo Eniosu Osayimwen, what is your problem. Get an education, a ship, aircraft can have only one captain, thats the only way it can be run period, whether the captain is a man or woman, it can only have one captain. Are you an advocate for anachy are you trying to corrupt us like everything else in Nigeria. Is there any woman in this group that doesn't want a strong man she can look up to, respect, trust. love etc. The fact that in Yoruba culture MAMA is usually in control of everything (even over what PAPA does) does not mean PAPA is not the captain and should not be seen to be. the problem is that western culture is poisoning the minds of women to make them think they are equal. they can never be equal, we are DIFFERENT, some things men are better at some things women are. The day these witches advocate that men and women should compete in the same events together in the Olympics then we know they are geniue and not trouble makers which they are.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie George for starters when you refer to women as Biches and witches you have lost your captainship. when you start having respect for your mother, sisters, wife and women generally in public then we will give you that honour for now with us you can talk till you blue.
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, first don't put words in my month that is evil no one mentioned the word "bitch". secondly the word witch is generally used for women who forment and promote evil/trouble, how your understanding of english leads you to think when the word witch is used it refers to all women beats me. Study english please
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie "women who forment and promote evil/trouble" this definition applies to men too,so it would matter if you be expansive about the phrases in such a way that brings objectivity to people you communicate with, you dont see any woman referring to men as wizards, mind your manners use of the dictionary, just cos you cant control your emotions towards women whos beliefs you dont share. love you anyway.
  • George Bayo Banjo alsu when you make a mistake accept it and apologise. Both your comments are straying off point. we are not talking about men. And sadly enough the word wizard usually applies do men and not always in a negative way. Stay on point. Or are you one of those who go around preaching equality, if so look down between your legs and you will notice you don't have something men have. we are DIFFERENT and therefore cannot be equal. having equal rights, or equal portions of meat in a meal does make two people equal.
  • George Bayo Banjo Back to point, the main reason for broken homes on the rise, is mainly on western culture. If you notice in the christain area's of Nigeria that have the least broken homes are the Igbo's because in there culture, before a man can marry he must prove he can support a woman, which is the bed rock of a successful marriage. the west brought a system called the registry, which technically a couple can go to get married and pull a witness off the street to effect it. without any involvement of relatives who would view the whole thing objectively (the couple are usually madly in Love. Science has shown that euforic state/feeling of love lasts usually 3 years) while the couple might not. the yoruba's focus is mainly on producing children (called grandparents sickness), and marriages where held together by a strong sense of duty, family values and the sake of the children. The west now plays down extended family and there influence, and it is rubbing off here.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie George i dont compete with men, if a man is threatened by my strengths then he shows he is weak. if men are chauvinistic about then it will bring out the feminist, if you have problems with women being strong then thats your beef, my dad didnt bring me up to be weak, neither did he make my ma bend by his whims, even as they are separated they both have respect in front of their kids for each other, if a man feels his D is too small in comparison to other men then it is not on women he should be taking it out on, thats blame pushing, if at some point a woman is bringing the buck home and he did something to make her climb the ladder then he should accept her success as his own, if a man feels bad that he isnt performing it is not the woman who is the witch he should rase his hame. women give respect to men who support them, when u see a man whose wife diss him cos she brings the bread know that he did nothing to help her up. women dont develop attitude's for no reason, i know a man who told his wife in front of me when they came to me for counselling that she would take what ever attitude he gives her cos as he put it "beggars cant be choosers". i couldn't believe my ears, he eventually came out to say his father told him his mother left cos he had no money. if you see something happening in a young family know that the root cause comes from the family background. cos it is easy to transfer aggression but not face your fears. tell me what do you want me to apologise for? the status reads "Why are there more broken homes now than ever?" i dont see how this is gender specific, if it is i would. in a feminist manner i can tell you easy that no man is a law or a ruler to no woman, if the rules of engagement in a marriage are violated then here you have it a broken home, you realy think we women have issues with men cheating? let me burst your bubble it is the HIV, STDs that we dont need cos men are woful at hygiene, as well as most a lousy at love making, we are no tools for pacifying no mans libido, if you cant rase your crane by yourself as easy as what made you approach a woman who was oblivious of your existence until u said i love you then sorry we aint built for that, we women can easily put you guys where you belong and very efficiently without you guys even knowing you were, just cos we play daft dont mean we daft, you men are clearly begging for it thats the revolt you see today where women are ding IVF to replace you. you have a problem with feminists you BAYO have the knack for creating that environment.
  • George Bayo Banjo Lets us see what the feminists (witches under cover) have/are doing. first lets look at what usually obtains in most old cultures, let us take the Yoruba one. the yoruba woman has already achieved equal status were it matters (inheritance, this was done 400 years ago), but now she was/is sophisticated enough to realise, that she can maneuver and outwit her husband by playing to his Ego and vanity. It is a common sight in yoruba land to see the man beating his chest shouting to high heaven that he is the head of the family, his word is Law etc etc, MAMA apologetically see's off the disappointed guests, and tells them to come back in a few days, she will talk to her husband. The guests come back and low and behold the man is singing a different tune, and even claiming it is his brilliant idea. MAMA smiles quietly in the background, pray tell who has control, this is the way women should approach their problems with the devices and skills God gave them, not by trying to be "equal" what ever that means. MAMA in yoruba land controls everything if you look closely, she decides who her Son marries, sometimes swinging an election for her son (Tinudu). The most powerful women in history used their talents, and did not argue equality.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Bayo and about extended family nonsense in my example that you know very well of i should have cut them off rather than try to embrace them by being african, i should have been western about it and please you are the same guy who advised me on a couple of occasions on what to do and it didnt work. i deliberately stay far away from my bros dam, and keep my parents focusing on their business rather than mingling in the young womans affairs with her young hubby. i dont give my bro one minute to think he is a God, and have told every one openly that no matter what blame my fam wants to push on what they do on the young wife, the blame is on his head, this way he would be careful about how he carries his cross and no one will sit to blame a gal cos he is the head, if he cant use it dont blame the neck.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie the mother and the father of the groom are responsible for bringing up a fine man, if they didnt they shouldnt blame the gal.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie he is the one who cose his wife if they didnt bring him up well they should blame themselves. i have a son and a daughter i know who misleads who.
  • George Bayo Banjo Now back to the witches. they are slowly destroying the institution of marriage, leading to damaged children and a whole distortion on society. perhaps the real example of their stupidty, short sightness and link with evil, is to insist that women should join men in combat in war time. as of now even in the most brutal of wars the women and children are spared and men (potential combatants) are killed. Once men see women as potential combatants they will be killed also. Should we stop " women and children first to the life boats" on a sinking ship, the examples can go on and on.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen George Bayo Banjo, e b like say na you go school pass for this angwa? Anything person talk, na make the person go school? Na only english be language to learn in this world? The capacity to read and write is not the issue here. 
    Broken homes on the rise. That is the point. Talk has been if or not more than one captain can run a ship. Everyone's opinion is difrent on this. Simple!
    MONEY is a huge factor.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie George i have had my first interaction with feminists about 30hrs ago, from all the discuss they have problems with women who behave weak, not men. in my view anyone who claims to have superiority over the other is weak. if my son is daft and dont use his head to think over a problem, he shouldnt blame the gal who was the A student in class, men should stop thinking through their balls and develop some grey mass. and same applies to women who think its toto that will get them far.
  • George Bayo Banjo Eniosu Osayimwen, at least we agree on something, MONEY (or the lack of it) is usually at the root of most problems.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Eniosu what is money? paper that says i have found my strength and have made someone use it. if a man dosnt know himself he will not make money. if a woman is lost she will squander any money thst is made.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Alsu, we all know what POWER human beings have injected into the "paper" you are referring to.
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, please don't say "what is money" money is a spirit, disrespect it at your own peril. To me there are three main spirits GOD, MONEY, DEVIL, in order of their power. If you notice most Nigerians (and the world) are moving from the worship of GOD to the worship of Money. Money has great capacity for Good or Evil. Please recognise it for what it is.
  • Lola Omolola wow Eniosu Osayimwen, “A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.” - money has no direct corelation with how deeply your woman loves you UNLESS thats all you have to offer her. Your opinions don't mean much here until we hear how YOUR woman scores you. Who's the captain now? LOLOL
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie disabuse it then, men think they have power when they have a bank load of cash, yet ask them a simple question they can have a dialog to make you wet the only thing that comes out of their mouth is "Nna i will buy you with money" for me go and use it in the toilet it is much more useful. i had been like this since i was 5. my pups or mum couldn't control me with gifts to behave, if what they were proposing was daft, i aint that easily tricked with favours i didn't earn, nether is paper a validation to be honoured by, look at our society people are you all blind? you are complaining about corruption yet you have accepted a man to buy you with money. arnt you scared that the daughter you love and have sweat to bring up will be turned into a prostitute? or your boy dieing abroad because he saw nothing else to do but drugs and 419 what are you talking about religion on if you pastors are curupting minds.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Lola Topia, you talk makes plenty sense...But look at it like dis. People dat dont face reality especially of the environment they are in or where they are from are what? Either in a continous sleep state or simply blind. What do you mean by "money has no direct corelation with our deeply your woman loves you"? Is it not MAJORITY that rules the vote? What is the majority in this case? How come there are so many "runs girls" nowadays? Your own opinion is baseless!
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, as much as the power of money offends you. One cannot run away from the truth, and its global influence. You can rant and rave with examples of people who have rejected it's power, but for every one example, we can show you millions who have. The truth is the truth, you don't have to like it. Now Alsu tell the truth if someone just walked up to you and said I like your posting here take 10 million, you no go happy!!! the spirit of money would make you happy, not so?
  • Lola Omolola uhm ... are you referring to thesame 'Majority vote' that enslaved people under slave masters? 'Majority vote' which stopped black people from sitting anywhere but at the back of the bus? "Majority vote" which made it OKAY to label TWIN babies as demons and execute them? 10 billion people CAN be wrong - as are you - SIR!
  • George Bayo Banjo Lola Topia, I beg stop that, if you want proof let every married man go up to his wife today and say "Darling I will no longer give you any money again never" I guarante you in six months time at least half of them will be filing for divorce irrespective of their "In Love" status
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Eni how much you get when your wife marry you? as for Bayo i know he was loaded since he was 22 he has earned his right to be a chauvinist. you have no excuse to be talking like this.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie no my dear my bro has muny but he dont degrade women, if he tried it he got a heavy load down from me. its not the money its the bigot behind it who thinks paper has power over what my life should be.
  • Lola Omolola I agree with you that several relationships are like you just described, no wonder the home-life is so broken George Bayo Banjo. As the saying goes: "We attract what we ARE".
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie let me say this if a woman says sorry dear no more pussy for you what would be the outcome? he will stay?
  • George Bayo Banjo The man will get it outside sharp sharp
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie then bye bye, we can live without it, while you can all become wankers to your ego.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, you be my banking officer to know how much I get when my wife marry me? If Bayo turned a billionaire when he was 15, of what relevance is it here? What do these have do with what is being said here? Is it a secret that prostitution is at a very high level in Nigeria right now? What do gals get paid with? Is it not money? Every human being has his/her own outlook towards money/who has it. But once again, the value that has bn reposed on owo is very high.
    There is a trend going on here. People taking offence by reading what others say that doesnt appeal to them. Not right at all. In a public setting, every 1's opinion is OKAY. Constructive critism is understandle, but......
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, i seem to get the impression you think it is degrading for women to like money, only an irresponsible one would not. Instinctively a woman wants security and attention. This security is for her and her yet to be born children. A sensible woman would seek a mate that can provide this, this is Law of nature Law of God. Don't be mislead by those hypocitical british and their so call views/morals other developed countries have see through this bullshit and grown up. Money is part of this security a woman instinctively looks for
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie There is no profit where there is no pleasure! When a woman can't enjoy her man! And when a woman is of no pleasure to the man then all goes up to flame! When u marry for status, status becomes your ruler! To it we all become slaves! Aint no biggie in marriage when it is for society to have the pleasure instead of both and the kids, they take the fall for pretence serving a hypocritical society!
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie I have stated my values, bayo has stated his, Eni you have stated what is in the society! Who rules? You say money then let it be your lord not mine!
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, our individual values (which I have not stated by the way) are of no importance, it is the majority that rule
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Then what u mean is that people need no leader! They will be ruled by what they choose! Me I lead by example, cos that is my fate I can live with! I will not settle for less no matter how it glitters!

    When you look at our society that kills values why
     would they be of any value?! Every man wants a woman to love him regardless of what he has or dosnt for who he is but what hasn't been clarified is that it realy dosnt matter what she loves him for, but what he values in himself for and a woman is just another symbol of his status! So let's not make it about it being the womans fault, but he chose his fate! He carries his own cross! And we women will stand by our kids to give them something of value even if it is cut in half we at least haven't let them down!

    It is quite obvious and have been for ever that every man no matter how he has treated his wife still loves his mother cos she stood by him! I am yet to find a man who stands by his wife against his mothers wishes, she knows how to pull the strings and we daft wives don't know how to be with our men as we are with our fathers!

    My father will take all my shit cos he loves me as his own! A man will never see his wife as his own and treat her with the loyalty he gives his mother! Let's not beat around the bush! And state facts and draw our own truths through the experiences we have all been through! And stop deceiving the society who need leaders and not deceitful mouths! Your child and children will be affected by it, they will marry into families that imbibe the values you propose! If u havnt stated yours bayo then you lie and you can't have me respect that!

    Eni everyday u and I chat and u tell me how much u love ur woman, and I see how bonded u are with ur kids, so stop the bulshit and tell it as it is! Just cos u on facebook don't mean you not amidst family! 

    Let's all stop polluting the earth with base less fears and small talks!
  • George Bayo Banjo Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie, you have got a few things wrong, most men love there mothers for the unselfish love she gives/gave him. A mans mother is probably the only woman he will meet in his life that would do anything for him without expecting something in return. As for a Wife..please...she is not even a relative (no blood link) and now adays as mentioned above some come and go like fashion
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Like I said, your values are urs to keep! I wish you all the best to leave with your mind! A man needs to do his bit, and so it is for the woman! A woman is just a trophy after all, so why wouldn't they be snached by another admirer! Some man once said to me no man wants a woman no other man wants, its about competition for men, not about her or a family! Thesame man took his wife for granted cos she was loyal! I wonder why she left!
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie I can't spend my life bringing up another womans child, god gave me mine to rare!
  • Emeriewen Efe Broken homes are largely as a result of GREED. Its greener out there, not content with your own, self centeredness, lack of communication and quality time with the family.
    Both the rich, middle class, and the poor all have broken homes, so its not cash alone!
    Its a lot of HOME WORK that keeps the home together. So gal and guy, do your home work well and stop the crack now!
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Ok. Another angle...
    Case (A) Rich man marries a less "loaded woman". Down the road kasala burst.
    (B) Rich woman marries a less "loaded man". Down the road water pass garri. Yawa! Opari!

    (C) Rich man marries rich womam (note that the term "rich" also stands for having potentials--not just physical cash). Down the road.....GBAM!
    The common thing of these 3cases? People's outlook towards CASH. 
    "Money is the root cause of evil". So we have been hearing since our bambina days.
    Emeriewen Efe, nice points here. "love conquers all". We are back to "WHERE IS THE LOVE?
  • Emeriewen Efe @ Eniosu "money" is not the "love of money" is the root cause of evil. Remember the law of harvest? Whatever you sow is what you reap! If you sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind. So if true love is what you need to keep your home, sow it if you got it and reap abundantly! Good luck- but note the word if you got it! You can only sow what you have.
  • Eniosu Osayimwen Efe, we are back to....Why are there more broken homes now than ever?
  • Chris Odua Bayo, the world is at war!, if what I read here is anything to go by,then we are in trouble. If people like Lola Topia are the type of wives we are craving for ,then marriage as we know it is a mirage,
  • Chris Odua I continue to wonder, is all this bile and bitterness from the ladies borne of their childhood experience, marital experience or they just dont like men?. I feel so distraught at the negative way supposed mothers carry on about the running of the home and building a family.
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Chris let the kids give you their story? lets leave us women aside.
  • Emeriewen Efe As you make your bed so you must lie on it. As it takes two to tangle so there are two sides to every coin or story. There are no two same marriages likewise no two same solutions to marriage challenges. The variables are determinants of the outcomes! If it doesnt work for you, that does not mean it wont work for someone else. DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND ENJOY YOUR HOME! A whole lot rest on the man as the head of the home- but MEN look well before you leap oh!
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Efe can you break down what does Look well before you leap mean cos it has a double meaning.
  • James Clarke Terrible earthquakes?
  • Emeriewen Efe @ Eki, look well before you leap means get to know yourselves inside out during courtship, table all your cards, be honest, and do back ground checks too. Its not a guarantee, but it is a step ahead such that when the challenges come, they will surely come (even if you are soul mates) you will have a better edge to resolving em.
  • Greg Ekhator Lack of moral compass/correct moral values
  • Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga hmm Guys no need 2 get personal, bayo, alsu, topia i am learning
  • Steph Okhomia Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga, you can say that again. i am dissapointed by people zeroing in on ohers in a public joint like dis. who gives a fuck as to if my comment makes sense or it is the right one? in same vein i dont give a hoot if what someone says doesnt allign with my view. it is a free world. we are here simply on freestyle basis. right?
  • Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie

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