What do you want to be when you grow up? This is a question many kids are asked and on hindsight they would say a fireman or doctor and when one channels them towards it they may or may not want to anymore once they come close to being burnt or sick. Why do we not follow our childhood dreams? In my case i don't remember having any specific dream concerning my career at the age of 5 or even 10. I simply wanted to be happy and rid of problems or situations. I guess on hindsight not wanting problems cultivated me into being a solution provider to problems that were around me. I learnt intuitively to foresee things before they happened.
I only now have made the choice to go into University and study in the area i always wanted to be based on my talent even though i have developed skills outside of my talent. I was asked by a lecturer why am i studying what doesn't need a certification and my answer was so that no twit can tell me that i know nothing of what i do only because i have no paper to present. This is the problem i have with certain persons that i meet, some will take advantage of you even if you have all it takes, and when you now give them a chance they again question you for doing what they initially scorned you for for not having.
Most of my friends remember me to sing. My son sings too and thats the most important reason i study Film and TV Production and Directing, not because i don't know or hadn't practiced it before i went in but to also know what the students in the arts are facing as my son may eventually be in one of these institutions. I started in IT, self trained and pretty much everything i had been doing till now, no one ever had to push me towards self determination and along the way i found many who would question my actions and only now realising how intimidated they were even by an 18 year old who had a dream she can't turn away from. Having a talented Autistic child that also has inclinations towards science and a talent for the arts like me is a big responsibility, as when i look back at the world i had witnessed and has still not changed, it scares me to think that he would be taken for granted because he doesn't yet know how to defend himself. My daughter is a tiger like me but i can't as a parent make her watch over him. She is a being too and she has her own dreams.
In the african society we burden our children with responsibilities that aren't theirs and have eventually made them servants rather than enabling them to being of service to themselves and society in part. The elders who populated the old world had left nothing for the next generation to inherit in terms of values for success. While their children were labouring in the farms they were sitting under the trees and counting how many more they need to give berth to to send again into the farms. We blame the whites for the history of slavery yet refuse to accept the responsibility for enslaving our selves. It is said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but today we still have people who wish not to liberate themselves by not making an effort towards rethinking the events of past.
I had immensely under rated myself and over rated others who were in my life at the time. Do not sell your birthright means do not let others tell you what you can or can not do, its better to leave this world than loose oneself. Do not be sad for me as i am not the only one who is going through this battle, i am just a messenger.
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