Indecent Proposal?

He told her she can cheat, she said she loves herself. I loved with all, he didn't trust himself, i took my love away. Same happens in reverse but most often men loose their gift to lack of self esteem."Can they handle it?

Why do couples loose sex appeal towards each other? A research was conducted and the following was explored. As I heard from (MEN) “old soup isn’t tasty again. I want new soup. This one is watery, I want assorted”. It comes from both sides!
They live themselves to be lazy in bed and otherwise in their careers. No matter what men are men, small, medium, big? Give as your spouse wants it, and don't be scared to be judged. Infidelity happens because in youth one or both didn’t have the fun.

Infidelity does destroy intimacy. Going by the fact that most African women expect infidelities they should protect themselves from venereal diseases and in return the average african woman has shot her heart off from love and is now inhibited. Don't men understand that their acts of infidelity and polygamy has made their women none sensual? Most african men want to be loved yet their wishes are fruitless.

Men should recognize that the dangers of not being intimate with their wives has health and spiritual consequences to their relationship and affects the upbringing of children. Your wife does deserve to be protected and most of all your kids. Men blame the lack of attention being shifted to the kids. It isn’t fair to blame women not taking care of themselves anymore. Women are left to bring up the kids alone especially when they are young, many or one of the kid may have a disability or maybe the woman went through hard times during incubation and delivery of the child. Most men are ignorant to the nature of woman. Do not confuse woman with womanhood.

In a chat I once had in my group a question was asked; “Why do women let themselves go”? A very smart retort come through “Do men think its comfortable to make love to them with their bellies”? The kettle calling the pot black. Have you guys looked at yourselves 5 to 10 years after marriage? Has a guy who had a potbelly when he met his gal ever thought that she looked at something else other than his physical a appearance? You don’t look good yourselves, how many still dress up as honked as before? Even our African brothers who marry big women will say she has gone fat. Dig deeper. Your problem isn’t that she has grown big, its because one or both maybe emotionally retarded than before. Excitement about your suppose may dwindle for many reasons; verbal battering or a selfish attitude are but a few of reasons and then one gets tired and leaves the house because it wasn't a home.

Where was the intimacy developed before you said I DO? Do you know how many times i have asked myself why don’t i see intimacy between couples in Africa?  Everything is about function and status. If you look at most FB pictures there is nowhere that shows madam and oga embracing. Maybe after my post someone will put one up just to prove me wrong. The African man loathes himself and it shows through the care and attention he shows towards his family and it is projected in the environment we all see. Slum dog millioners. Oh yeah they may be all dolled up in social events but the infidelities and corruption is evident. Lies, fakery and pretense.

Our women you give them a flower they will say na flower I wan chop meaning is flower what I would eat?? Little simple gestures are a sign of attention lassies, not gold or clothes. If the only thing you ask for during dating was to take you to eat, then why complain if he lives you in the kitchen? If going to church was the only event you both attended together, why complain you see him only on Sunday morning? If burials and weddings were the only places you went as a couple to show off, why complain you have acquaintances who erode your intimacy?
If his mama is the person to approve of you and you pretend to be holly, why then complain if he worships you like the reverend mother?

Did both of you have a healthy attitude towards intimacy before you said I DO? When the couple doesn't allow each other space. When each individual stops loving themselves that could lead to problems in bed. "people are afraid to lose their lives; perception of image, seeking security and then trying to break free from it, sometimes i wonder if they have truly found what they afraid to loose."

"We feel not guilty about what but how we do what we do! The intentions are always right! But its the pain we inflict we never antisipate! When we see someone cry or hurt we get surprised cos we didn't realise that someone could feel so much! We get ashamed that we didn't feel that much! And then it is toooooo late that even the word Sorry can't mesure up to heal the pain!!"