From Why to What to How!

Parents think that by telling their kids what to do they have given their child the the needed guidance. Instruction isn't guidance in its true form. By instruction they are having their own sense of fulfilment. How about the fulfilment of the child/youth? By telling someone what to do you are limiting their opportunities, their ability to see a vision of themselves, by that blurring what they can as well as independently creating their own ways to go about it! This activity is what I call formal parenting ie putting blinkers on their eyes rather than expanding their vision to opportunities!

We automatically assume that we are doing what we should because that is what we have been told is good! When you are focused on one thing you seldom see vantage points ie critical paths. At young age your mind is that of a searcher! An informal parenting is when you detach yourself from your perceptions and experiences of life and career path mistakes and success! Our door was your door! We are not doing our children a favour by fixing them into a box! Our job is to be there when they rise and or fall, not setting limitations!

Over an extensive period of practice in working with youth and having the practice of human resources and IT gave me the ability to understand life time and resource management principles! I started structuring my life at 16; I had a plan of what I wanted in overall to achieve and left it at that! in example; No specifications on if it was a big house or small, a house is a house to me. If it came to me and I could afford it in terms of financial plus added effort to pursue it I did! A room is a roof but not the limit!

Parents give their kids specifications/standards but are seldom there to support and their kids fail at reaching the heights that they didn't set!

The proper way to do this is ask what they want and then help them see the different ways to getting there; explain that should one road to the destination prove to be dangerous/difficult this could be the other way to take! All roads lead to heaven but if the gate is in the north don't give them the direction to the south!