This is a gal that ran away from home cos she was treated badly by her mother! She left a small town near Johannesburg and moved by gaining a job with an IT firm as a business development manager she is just 22 doing her best to keep her head above water and not succumb to drinking, drugs and prostitution cos she as much as her family has neglected their responsibilities she by her nature has pride!
She doesn't have enough money to rent a decent apartment and now has to squat in a room with other gals who don't really have a better esteem of themselves! These are situations I have to manage here and they are quite vivid in nigeria as well!
She comes to me crying for counselling about a relationship she is in! In the process it finds out that she is dating a guy who lives in his parental home and not paying his own rent, how ever he has got to know that she has no one but him, then she lives where she does and pays her own rent but has the audacity to judge her! If its me I would kick him to the curb for making her feel bad about what she should actually be proud of! I am having a hard time trying to tell her that he don't love her! With tears in her eyes she looks at me and all I could do is advice her not to get pregnant and use condoms cos he would leave her hanging with a child!
Comments:
Jose Ololade Bank said: A good guy will find a place for her, with a budget she could afford and not offer to help unless specifically requested by her with funding, and try so much not take undue advantage of her, again love thing hard o
June 24 at 9:49pm · Like
Uche Echi said: Wow Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie that is a hard case. Let us hope her infatuation for this person will not blind her to your advice. It is possible she may not see the bigger picture now to get out of the relationship that will one day put her in worse state.
According to your report, she is holding her own ground, even though she is squatting with other girls. Can you sit her down and paint the bigger picture for her, make her see things your way?
I think you should repaint the picture of the worst-case scenario, in the event of pregnancy things will get worse as you have said.
Let her know that even condoms are not full proof for preventing pregnancy. Those things do break unwittingly at the height of ecstasy.
If she is coming to you for advice, it means she trusts you enough to listen to you. Should she listen to you now she will for forever be grateful for taking your advice.
June 24 at 10:24pm · Edited · Like · 1
Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga said: she's developing and @ tht stage she'l rebel against conventional wisdom, if u'v time 4 her, help her grow, 1st she nids 2 leave the oda rottn apples 2 avoid contamination.
June 24 at 10:05pm via mobile · Edited · Like
Jocelyn Idemudia said: Eki tell her to rise above her desire, and face her studies and Job or business. She should stay out of dating for atleast six to seven years and when she wants to date, she should go with a matured independent man that is atleast between five and thirteen years her senior. Tell her to forget about love and that she can easily grow to love a responsible man whom is not a drunk or drug addict.
June 24 at 10:13pm · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Thanks guys!
June 24 at 10:16pm via mobile · Like
Yohanna Galadima Simon said: From all indications the gal has more sense of responsibility than the guy per se. If that be the case, Alsu, why not advice and school the girl on how to use the scenario to her advantage by using the boy's infatuation to her to change his perception of
June 24 at 10:18pm · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie said: Don't know if she is smart enough to see through her love and longing to be with someone! I will try!
June 24 at 10:22pm via mobile · Like
Yohanna Galadima Simon said: Since its difficult for her to leave, subtly she can talk him into start beeing responsible. Soon the guy will see that he has to up his levels to keep abreast with d gal else he looses his sweet gal to some else.
June 24 at 10:23pm · Like
Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga said: @jocelyn @22 she isnt exactly a smallee, feel me? Alsu pls kip tryin, dn't knw her, bt frm ur descriptn she knows where she's headed, lil confused bt salvageable
June 24 at 10:28pm via mobile · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie said: I doubt that when you meet a guy living with his parents that he would ever leave! He is apparently 10 years older!
June 24 at 11:04pm via mobile · Like
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