I didnt do the right thing!

On the stance of marriage you all know how i think of it, it is a contract between 2 people who
consent to supporting each other. If there is no relationship between the 2 there will be no marriage but a battle ground for rights. Reason i am stating this again is in reference to the underage marriage issue. A 9 year old has no consent of her own. She dosnt know what it is except she is told by her family.

Outside of law and religion there is nothing that makes us aware of the institution of marriage to exist. Connection is the only natural thing that there is. Marriage is an artificially created environment by man to identify/define for him and himself what a relationship is and in the eyes of nature to distribute to others who arnt as strong to have some share. Yes women are very discriminative and thats by nature, she wants strong genetics and security so what is left for the weak one's to do? Either go to the gym or develop a brain. We have men that cant seem to remove the constant requests and so it is for some women, the rest are left with left overs sorry to say but that is the bitter truth. Hence marriage and the laws within it tried to do some fair play but it also created chaos. Other women became jelous and other male became conniving. When you mess with nature it comes back to bite you.

I hate vague laws and this is why even in my group WHy is there No, i made sure there were no rules and this way everyone was at peace and i dont need to police it. There is a vibrant connection. Open doors makes everyone careful cos they know as you treat others you treat yourself. I am adamant at opposing the senates decision on young girls marriage from the standpoint of "They will not be there to see to it that there is fair play, They don't have the infrastructure to support the law." They have shown no other development efforts to solve the existing social problems first and now added another.

When others are in your relationship, there is no way you can call it yours. I tried bringing in family and friends and it only rifted the connection. I thought i was doing the right thing because i was told that that is how it should be in Africa. When couples have a problem they go seeking counselling to bring objectivity, (there is no guarantee that the so-round sound is objective) that was my mistake. Everyone around was going through thesame thing and to an extent made me their lab rabbit, to see if another way would work. They remained intact but we fell apart, not realising that i invited others definition of what a marriage should be. If both of us had the same understanding as i had at the time we would probably have found a way. He didnt want his cruel business known and i couldnt take charge in facing him squarely cos i knew i will cause damage through the pain. So i rendered him to the judgement of his parents and they didnt handle it because they had bias. They couldnt accept the shame of his behaviour, protecting themselves from owning up that they didnt bring up a good person and man. I did the right thing but it all went wrong. On the other hand if i did take up my own judgement he would have lived in the hell that i am very capable of creating but i moved away. Learn from my mistake. Every marriage is a mess and especially those who paint it as bliss. White picket fences are a disguise. No one is perfect, the grass is green where one nourishes it and those who are at work always look rough.

We have a lot of situations in our society where traditionally women are forced to drink the water they used in bathing her dead husband and they will put her for days to stay with him. Although we dont have forensics to find out if he was poisoned, in the african culture they would employ such tactics. So is it healthy not to speak up when issues arise or is it better to open up and avoid someone suddenly being a victim? You tell me i didnt do the right thing.