Foreigner at home!

Yesterday I was going through one of my topics which related to the issue of being a foreigner. A friend of mine asked "why is it that foreigners are trusted more than the citizen in being given loans for trade"! As much as I had given a supposition as to why, my mind went also towards another direction of thought that the asking individual isn't aware of; the aching in some hearts of citizens who feel like foreigners in their own land regardless of if they are given or not utilities for basic survival but the other part of them always feels like an outcast!

Has any one ever asked the freckled of this world how they feel when all their life they are in between cultures? The coloureds of South Africa have tried to isolate themselves from this constant battles between the blacks and the whites. I have experienced that as a mixed kid where always I am singled out based on my ethnical or ethical background. I am neither white in my mothers land nor black In my fathers land and it seems that it is only in South Africa I feel neutral until the moment I start to speak and then the prejudice of me being Nigerian rates my life. What more is that my physical appearance separates me from the masses, I am a 6ft broad shouldered mixed lady with an accent in a country where most are less than 4ft tall. No matter where I go I see eyes stopping twice to look at me!


Where can I truly have the opportunity to blend without being conscious of the difference between me and them? Although many wish to be like me I am acutely aware of how much I wish to know how it feels not to be noticed. I did at some time wish I was shorter "I would have had more choice in suitors lol :) that was just my girly thoughts at a time, however given the experiences I had I know that even my character will be what will push me out of the crowd. As an adult I am fine now even more so elated by my being different but as a kid I always hid as much as I could! I am not complaining but still it would have been nice to know how it feels to be like everyone just as everyone wish to know what it is to be like me! I guess we all want to experience the effects of the opposite side for comparison but should one find oneself in such a situation one becomes acutely aware of how much they wish to go back to where they were. Switching side's, turncoats, I think these 2 words pretty much describe how one is forced to feel when one is different or in a different position! It seems as though "foreigners" are made to feel as though they betrayed their country, just as those couples who chose to be with another's culture but what is there for the freckled to do or feel when they were born without being asked?! To fight back, To fight back I say to the prejudice built in ignorance or for certain economic advantages of one culture over the other "we are all foreigners in a land and are in turn turning everyone into becoming turncoats to our souls"!
If an alien came from Mars to earth then I can say that's a foreigner not the white man whose DNA can be traced back to Africa where it all  began (according to what I was told)! The benefit of being mixed is that I actually have the right to be racial towards prejudicial minds!