Why when you fall in love you sharply become aware of your insecurities?

If you are waiting for approval then you are in for a shockwave of bull-shit coming at you. Love isn't supposed to make you insecure it works the other way round. Love is in giving and in the process sharing happens. If you do love someone their little cracks are cute. Insecurities result from being ridiculed for the things that at a given time you have no power to change.

Why does it matter what the other thinks of you? You want to be accepted? Was that first smile that invited him to you and then he approached not an indicator of full acceptance? Probably not because if you are now feeling insecure then something was amiss.

What do you mean to him? Please don't confuse your personal insecurities like body shape and lack of money or status as the reason for not being loved. Most people don't know what love is so we keep judging ourselves instead of just being free.

Now how about life does it give any assurance? Are you ready for it? Lack of experience thats the foundation of all insecurities. NOT BEING READY. Thats the way love goes!

look at this link for a more extensive view on insecurities.

Why does the world stand still when a true talent is born?

Because they suddenly realise in that instant that they too can until they try? Not really, they are surprised it was growing right next to them. Its amazing how most people don't see in themselves what they see in others. There is nothing you can't do! There is a root cause for every effect.

How is a talent born? By mistake or some timely force! There is bad attitude from within and without, that kills a talent."

Could it be the tone?

Why when people like each other words that should feel like an insult is accepted and when they don't even GoodMorning is taken in offence?

Could i use this statement to drive a point "familiarity breeds contempt"? It doesn't really say it for me but close enough to start a conversation. 

In knowing 2 very distinct languages and being familiar with a variety of cultures i can understand and intuitively feel when one uses words to offend and when the same words sound like a friendly banter. With words come tones "a reflection of attitude/emotions" speaks of its intent. In Russian communication there are dual words just as in English but where in english one can feel instantly assaulted in Russian one can feel pacified. For instance the word "Rabbit and a Bunny" the tone is pretty much clear when one is called up in a tender way.

Difference and Comparison. People don't mind seeing their differences but don't like to be compared. Making an example of someone is different from comparing them to others.

Your mate, younger or older?

I was once asked why didnt i settle down with someone of my age or a bit older? During that
questioning i felt being accused by my mates rather than being asked out of curiousity. It felt as though i was accused of the relationship failing. Well if maturity is based on how long one has lived on this planet then i guess the best option for anyone is to marry an older person.

My mates at the time were busy shagging, getting drunk, going to school or in some fraudulent activities while i was already working and even at that at 22 i had pretty much toured the world back and forth between Africa and Russia so the scope of knowledge and childhood experiences separated me from my mates. Between 13 and 22 i had done everything that the 18 to 30 year olds were doing and even many 50 year olds still do. I wasn't necessarily a bad kid, i just rolled with those who were older because i looked their age so they never really noticed the difference neither did they ask questions such as how old i was. In the process i picked up some life lessons while in conversations; by the way they protected me most times as against getting into trouble with my mates who i was busy getting out of the cells after drinking and delivering them back to their parents. At 16 i was 6ft tall already, while my mates were under 4ft :) not to talk of them being intimidated and funny enough to remember they used me as a shield from the evils that roomed around our neighbourhoods and probably to an extent i had more sensibility towards life bread in me by my dad so i had very little interest in what my mates were doing at the time.

I grew up closely with my Grand parents and I am the eldest of all grand children so i had to look after my siblings (brother and cousins) and of course was asked of to be an example and took the pains of being flogged if i didn't meet up to the expectations so i guess some maturity did rub off from there too. Life didn't spare me experiences and I had no big brother or sister to offload on so had to roll with the punches. I also found spirituality early so a certain level of rapid growth occurred. I also willingly plunged myself further into the business world after i saw the turn of events within the countries i stayed when it came to the systems of governance that failed my ancestors and wasn't waiting for it to drag me down. So naturally if i am amidst "mates" be it young or old who behave immaturely i move away. One can't find Jesus with just about anyone; one gravitates towards where they feel comfortable.

I live to the fullest without prejudice or judgement as to why i was shared this wealthy lot of experiences. :) :) :)

Why does one have to study History? What's wrong with the future?

When one studies history it is a reference to what had been, no one really knows what truths it holds so be careful not to get stuck in it especially if it isn't yours. HIS STORY can become your future. Some people don't have at start an image of where to go or who to be. When one sets a future one is projecting from history and hopefully towards a brighter level. It is said "if you don't know where you are coming from you wouldn't know where you are going towards". 

History is meant to be corrected to a level possible i.e making amends with your past. One dosnt have to study the history of others but of oneself if the objective is personal growth. If one is interested in the social aspect of history then it is often relevant for social and or business endeavours. Histories are crumbs, a future is a plan that will eventually become history too so however it is we all live in some perspective of history. Present Gone or Gone Present? We only have today to make a tomorrow, that becomes a yesterday for those who will be there tomorrow :) Leave a mark that could make you an Immortal through time. 

Why when poor?

DO the rich really get away with crime? Life will tell a better story. Prisons for the poor and rehabs for the rich.

Is a tit now a tat?

Sometimes i hate these marriage based questions because it rips out the intimacy that should exist between a couple. The duties of being a Mother is different from the responsibilities of being a parent however for the benefit of educating parents to bring up good standing men who stand up for their choices these things need to be discussed. I hope not to sound like a robot when it comes to relationships but the parental duties force one to seem as such. A question was asked: Why should men propose first? I hope to draw some justice to this.

Commitment to a relationship seems to be the problem for the average male. Many men when they were boys were not brought up to take on responsibility other than to chase birds. They were also some who were focused on developing only technical skills rather than alongside developing social skills. If they were told and made to be responsible for their sisters "if they had any" then they should be ok in standing up for their choices of partner. Another problem in our society that we have are the overzealous mothers who by not having their husbands around converted their sons into mini helpers and find it hard to let go of their babies even when they are now grown up. Yes maybe after the war times they lost their husbands but how about embracing your daughter inlaw if help is needed? Why would a woman who lost a husband not remarry and relieve her son from the duties of the helper? Did she have a bad marriage? Could be but then there is no need to trap your kids in it and in return create an environment that breeds same effect but for a different cause.

Men like to use words to woo women so they should stand by it. I would presume that in the old days  for a man to marry he should have already set a foundation both of character and finance. By a Man proposing first he is now held liable for not meeting up with his promises and a woman for not honouring the offer of commitment. Women are socially boxed into place and that has to an extent taken care of the awareness of responsibilities that women adhere to. However we do have loads of women who think they are exempt from it. And Why? Because of the liberties that men allow themselves women have also taken into becoming an example.

What makes men or to better put it Man "a person with character and standing" is the principles of care and management of their choice(s). There is a limit to what "man" can take. Men who are not committed are likely to nest in another's nests and the women had been scorned for it and women who aren't taken care off open their doors. Is a tit now a tat? We are all rudding for policies to protect children, how about bringing up principled people in our kids and that in return takes care of the multitude of social and political problems that are now right in our faces.

A shepherd attends to its flock and the wolf stays at bay. Nurture is nature in this instant.

Why is Time, Money?

Anything that is scarce is a valuable resource. Time is effort, to think is an effort. Waste your time and you will have to micro manage or multitask to catch up. Service providers are paid based on time; by putting thought to action that others could possibly do themselves if only they tried or developed. What wastes time is the fear of not getting it right because one could be ridiculed or cause damage to another or the environment.

Why is time the only thing that limits man, yet man creates more limitations for himself and by that looses even the little time he's got?

A gift of what could be!

Hmmmm what a phrase that caught my mind while watching the film "P.S. I love you!" A friend of Holly's "actress Hilary Swank" Daniel asked "What do women want?" she replied "please don't tell anyone, we don't know what we want.  Why are women depicted as not knowing what we want?

Quite a deep sitting thought. I am thinking of how to organise my thoughts right now as not to sound disorientated and in return perceived as not knowing what I want to say! Well I guess what works for me at this moment is that you all that are reading this are not right in my face so I have the advantage of coming out as smart :). I guess I have the Time to think and organise my thoughts!

Over centuries women have been boxed into "A ROLE" she has to be prim proper and quiet in the eyes of man for her to be suitable as a wife! In this I see the very beginning of our seemingly disorientated choices of thoughts and actions! We seem to be struggling between the imposed wishes of the society and our own hearts! Over clouded by emotions of non acceptance! Here comes the battle "The Person vs The Individual!"

Like in the film "Run Away Bride" in an argument between Maggie "Julia Roberts" and Ike "Richard Gere" characters, he accused her of not knowing what kind of eggs she wanted because she seemed to like the same type of eggs as her to be grooms and then runs away! In the conventional society we all know says a woman should be this way and only this way. We find that most gals would eat the type of eggs her man eats just not to cause a quarrel and further more to a rift if she dares to do things otherwise which could prove more efficient than what the male suggests! Well you can eat the same eggs out of convenience but that don't mean you like them or that particular make! How far does a man go to in moulding a woman for his own convenience? Will life with her be truly safe or would at some point she run away?

In living in a world where men proclaim themselves as those who aught to be Hero's aren't we surprised why women have no idea what they want? But then isn't a hero someone who can achieve a goal? How can you be a Hero for your lady if she doesn't know what she wants because she isn't allowed to want?

When a guy meets a complex girl/woman he soon gets scared after sometime of courtship "libido excitement" and starts trying to culture her into the easy for him to manage type and soon enough one becomes ordinary if she doesn't run away! Then when she finally surrenders she is no longer attractive! Should she keep up her interests then she is labelled unruly and unfit!

My question to women is "Do you or we want to remain or become ordinary or rebellious and be dumped anyway? Who are you living for? Go back and find yourself for yourself because either way you may get dumped because next to you may be a moron!

Africa's Ambition!

Not too long ago while developing the social network on Facebook I received an inbox message with an accusation of being over ambitious and this was coming from someone who previously was trying to distract me with notes of sexual advances! That was the last straw to my long painstaking patience with the average African male!

It made me realise the core to the poverty and corruption within our continent! Once a sister is rising they want to pull her down, first by trying sexual advances and when that doesn't work next comes direct attacks on her excellence!

I often heard guys complaining that the girls they meet are lazy and all they think about is how to hang on a man and on the other side I got to experience the outright attempts to assassinate my character and drive!

He forgets that if he digs a little deeper into his history, we would probably find that it was his mother who put him and 10 other siblings through school by selling bean cakes at the market while his father was scratching his balls and fathering 20 more! I would love to see his reaction if someone came up to his mother and insulted her in a relative manner! He would probably be the type who would take that person to a shrine and use his parts for voo doo to make money! Down the drain PHD "Pull Her Down" practitioners!

"I once thought of this while researching! Why do we have rulers and not leaders? Corrupt the teachers and they will corrupt the nation! When a gal has to sleep with a lecturer to get marks to pass exam, what happens? When a boy is inducted into cult and thought to send 419 letters and kill to take money what happens? Sort out the educational institutions and you will see Africa rise!"

Is God a maid?

God "faith" is a personal experience but when brought out in public becomes social trash because it is ripped apart by people who can’t comprehend the miracle. "HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?” becomes the question in their minds. Your miracle may seem in their eyes superior to theirs. I would love to ask those who trash others faith "what had their prayers been to God?" Was it great or was it mediocre ( a mundane day to day chore)? Is God a maid? Is HE responsible for moving your furniture?

Those who want a miracle should have a miraculous prayer and go through the delivery of it though faith and its physical implementation for it to manifest to a degree permissible of the times.
 I often imagine if God was walking on earth and people could see him as a mortal what would happen? The Bible pretty much has recorded such an event and its outcome was Jesus. We ripped him apart. If we could do that to him as the Son what do we think will happen to him as the Father? I am sure that with the nature of our carnal minds we will turn him into a slave.

Jesus dies every day and resurrects every day in the faces of our Stars and by Stars i mean not only those who are celebrated but those talents that live and grow next or beside us. How about those Geniuses who at age 3 can do what others may only or even never develop after the age of 50 or more!

If i put myself in the place of God as a Mother and gave my son to the world so they may partake in the blessing through his gift and all i saw was my son being nailed, what do you think my motherly instincts would produce? I think God to some extent should be scared of his own creation enough to create an invisible wall between him and "man" to earn his rightful place. Yes he should make us work for the experience of being in his grace. My life here on earth is a test, thats all i know for now.
Yeah we would all love to believe we are special and that is true we are but we trash ourselves "falling from his grace" as well as by trashing others "pulling others down" and never for a moment hesitate to blame someone else than to admit we did have a choice to behave otherwise. How we treat others is how we feel about ourselves and it shows by how we blame the victim later for now being on offence or defense.

A gift is an anointing. Have you found it within? 
Read the meaning of anointing, the word is known in English since c. 1303, deriving from Old French enoint "smeared on". To me it seems that if you haven't pissed someone off ie triggered an interest then you haven't done something right.

What doesn't question the old thought or deed can't stand a trial.

"Rain of prayers"

I go down on my knees,

Asking God to please see my dreams!

Years of dreams before my eyes,

Prayers like rain on my mind!

Why is it hard to say what one means and mean what one says?

In saying what one means one is first hopefully thoughtfully thinking through what one should say and meaning what one says is in translating that thought into action. A lot of people draw their own conclusions to the words they hear coming from another but does assuming what one meant the responsibility of the talker? Should anyone who hears try and do some thinking for themselves about what was heard? or if they can't can't they ask for more clarification before taking it for a fact? Words are ideas and the implementation of them is left for who ever pleases and not necessarily the responsibility of who authored it only.

Why does the society "clustered individuals" expect siblings to get along?

A society is made of individuals clustered in one space by beliefs. Siblings that have no common
belief will never get along. A bond between siblings is developed from youth and parents making sure they don't use their kids as tools to fight each other. It sure takes some divine intervention to keep siblings together. Usually this should come from the eldest but sometimes the youngest possesses the gift of wisdom.

When bringing up kids the parents should cultivate respect and free will to express oneself so that mine, yours can become ours. Using the quote from the bible Luke 8:21 on how Jesus addressed the call of his mother and brethren and could not come at him for the press.
20 And it was told him by certain which said, Thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to see thee. 21 And he answered and said unto them, My mother and my brethren are these which hear the word of God, and do it.

To hear the word of God in my view would be "those who have the will to share views and draw understanding for the common good and implement it". One could say that the path that Jesus took was scary not just to the public but his family as well so they usually didn't gather together to talk. I use the stories in the bible to draw perspectives of what may be happening in families where siblings do not get along and usually because an understanding hasn't been developed or a kid decided to separate from the family due to varying value systems that can't meet. Principles and beliefs separates or brings people together. "Is family those who you are born with or who you bond with"? Loaded question hmmm? My kids friends are my kids thats a smarter way to take care of my kids indirectly.

Why do we do the other way round?

The developed World have the mentality of doing their best and never do anything alone. Why do we Africans do the other way round?

I dont believe that successful countries never do anything alone more likely they are focused on their own progress. Rather than tagging along they tag everyone behind themselves, they serve their own best interests. They create their goals and use everyone who is interested. It is us that don't know what we want so we end up as followers. I am pissed at Africa or the underdeveloped countries that are forever complaining about how they are being taken advantage of. I am sure we have heard the quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Did we consent to our inferiority? When you tell yourself you are no good for anything you will sell yourself short of what you deserve. What does Africa deserve with all the undeveloped resources?

Why do people keep things they don't need?

Because there are no garage sales businesses around or for sentimental reasons. Sorry can't come up with more reasons because i don't keep old baggage. I am in a cranky mood right now have just rearranged my closet and found some of my old grandma's panties hehe.

Why does office politics exist?

Because staff make themselves more important than the business? Have a read!

Voodoo religion!

Why do some people feel guilty that they had to pick a religion for a subjective reason?

When I ask friends why they chose to believe in Jesus they are likely to say because he died for me, rather than simply say "I was sick and needed to believe he can heal me" or " I wanted to be rich so I needed to believe he could make me rich"

Why is it easier to use the services from voodoo for a purpose but when it comes to faith one is indecisive?

Religion and marriage!

Why does It look like religion regardless of what one practices has rubbed most from having or projecting their personality?

Religion wasn't developed to breed individuality but to discipline the masses into a society, faith however is another journey entirely for the seekers of light, who keep digging through the tunnel of ignorance!

http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2012/10/most-committed-christian-men-are-not.html

Why is there always an argument of ownership between Wives and Mother inlaws.

Who really owns a man?

His mother or wife?

eg: ARGUMENT !

Mother- my son must obey me unless he didn't suck my breast 4 1yr.

Wife- he sucks mine now & sucked it 4 more than 8yrs and is still sucking.

Mother- I carried him for nine months.

Wife- he was only 3.5kg then so whats d big deal?

I carry him every night and he is 85kg now.

Mother- he passed btwn my legs.

Wife- Hahaha, he only passed there once, he stays in-between my legs like everyday so please!

WHO OWNS A MAN?

If a mother doesn't know how to raise a man she will never give him up until death do them part! Only insecure parents hold on to their children! My question is why should a woman waste her youth in fighting another woman for a man that is still a child when at that time she is missing out on bringing up her kids to be strong and in return becoming like the inlaw(s). Life is war and some battles are not meant to be gone into! A "man" is not "the man"! 

Why are Africans more social based rather than scientific?

Our lives from the onset due to the natural environment did not dictate the need to survive individually but collectively however we also never pushed harder towards advancement or the enhancement of tools initially developed! Our seasons never change so it seems that we had no need to prepare for tomorrow!

Science in part is the physical proof of our beliefs but we would rather believe blindly than solidify knowledge of our surroundings! It seems we arnt interested in the future, we seem to be happy in the moment of ignorance as a mass but we sure do have individuals who wish to know why and what but the when "concept of time" keeps us back! Africa is timeless!

Lack of interest, lack of infrastructure however these are just excuses as the developed countries started from somewhere! Today we have a different climate that should push us for the need to succeed; commercial environment fuelled by a new generation that doesn't take lightly to remaining faceless! 

Our kids are spread all over the world but our home is still a ghetto!

Why does it seem easier for government to give monetary compensations than create Jobs?

Looking at the environment that we are in now it will be fair to say that the problem is the educational institutions not placing themselves early enough to transition towards the current  dynamics required! Being technically equipped doesn't mean one is entrepreneurial in mind! This relates to the global economic crises we are experiencing but there is hope if some aspects within the educational sector transforms i.e. adding a number of crucial exercises! 

On the other hand In Africa and most undeveloped countries the individuals who are in government are not educated nor experienced in economics. The continent is underdeveloped structurally and infra-structurally so this will take considerable time to catch up with the rest of the "developed" world. 

Africans have little exposure, the repressive policies on migration in order to develop perspectives from other countries is limiting vision! Let's take for instance the example of the breakup of the USSR. Until Gorbachev was invited to see, he wouldn't have started the ideology of perestroika! 

Let's be a bit insightful as to the nature of change; it can't happen without having something to bounce an idea from! Comparison based evaluation is the best way to reproduce perspectives! I understand that one can't just take all Africans and tour them around the world but educational materials can be shown through TV. Discovery channel sure can replace the biology class in remote areas, visual perceptiveness is a much quicker way to educate people. TV unlike real human beings standing with a stick has a better shot at keeping ones attention! Yes one is asking for more jobs not taking away the jobs of the teachers but how about moving those teachers from the class into TV, let them present their findings through TV. A class or TV what's the difference? The platform for conveying a message has changed but the message is delivered with more variety! If you look at it from a perspective Teachers are actors, they project the reality of their findings! People can be thought right at home, there isn't enough time to build schools to educate everyone neither is there time to wait if the government is really interested in its county and the well being of its people! After all technology has gotten to a level where exams can be done online or even through TV!

Education expands vision, creates jobs and opportunities that's why it is power and accepting monetary compensation is demeaning to a nation or continent that has soo much to offer not just in physical resources but the mental resilience which has developed over centuries  of self and others enslavement!

Why do staff make themselves more important than the business?

That's because they seek validation of themselves "reflecting their need to be relevant from the boss and surroundings developed from their parental home". In reference the work environment where we spend most of our lives is no different from situations that happen at home however they miss the point that the objectives of both environments are different although interwoven!

A kid who reaches age 3 is plunged into the work force from kindergarten and from then on spends less and less time at home. Surrounded by strangers and that in turn makes strangers of their parents! What if a child is kept at home until they are of age where their personality and emotions of care are satisfied? It would mean that they will develop a stronger emotional balance however we live in a world where both parents are working "the human mind needs to be active in order to remain proactive" so there is no way to avoid the neediness raring its head!

Schools on the other hand should be developing the EQ and IQ of an individual while the parents support it but what happens is that in school the metric "evaluation methods" are curbing the EQ of an individual. How can one measure the true IQ potential of an individual if their emotional state is always compromised?

Well not everyone gets to a point early enough in their lives to send everyone's metrics of them to hell, this often happens later in life when some degree of self resentment kicks in! For someone's potential to unravel itself one literarily needs not to give a damn! Very few are capable of placing things where they belong which is what I mean as sending the world to hell! Parents just as the society have their place in life but not at the expense of ones sanity! Validation is in the art of shelving! Get cracking and stop whining about how your boss doesn't notice you and make yourself noticed through delivery of the business objectives! "How to achieve?" isn't often the first question it is in the "What to achieve and When it needs to be delivered" that measures success at work!

Why do women fall for words?

I wish I Knew why? Maybe the promise is more alluring to the imagination until actions don't tally!? Men enjoy the play of words to see if they can probe further into action! Falling for words in my view is falling for the perception of what may be but be carful what's on his mind is not what's on yours! Why? Because the aim may be different!

What words mean to you is different from what it may mean to others. I would refrain from making this a sexist tune because at the end of the day I do realise we all fall for words! Actions speak louder so be sure to clarify before taking into assumptions that make an ass of everything!

Why is RELIGION causing division among people???

If everyone first studied theology before choosing a particular way of life they would be more committed and less defensive! A religion is a way of life. It really doesn't matter what one chooses so long as they choose to live by it! If humanity existed within every individual would religion be necessary? Faith is a way of expressing the various views of life and if you don't believe in your choice of religion then what others are into will be a thorn as you would be feeling inferior especially if the other is successful in life! It does seem that those who are successful feel less a need to badger anyone with their way of life and are more likely to shy away from being noticed! It begs to ask "is religion for the poor and faithless"? Remember where there are religious fighters there are also the pushers of political and economic gains!

Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he didn't met his 72 virgins after?

This is where I draw the line when it comes to certain heads manipulating the ignorant for their own purpose! The idea of an after life has been a lure to those who seek a quick fix to today's problems! When you are dead you are dead both to oneself and/or the world. Who reaches heaven or hell is entirely to the discretion of our creator and discrediting oneself from the gift HE gave all for the vanity of men's imagination is a complete waste of time! 

Suicide is "considered" a sin because it represents giving up on the world. To the committer of a suicide the world around is viewed as unworthy of their presence. However suicide bombers in some cultures are perceived as honourable; like the Japanese Samurai or the fighter pilots who ram their planes on the enemy during war but in this process I haven't heard that they were promised in the after life virgins! What's more likely is that for giving up ones life their families would receive gratis from the government or the parties who hire them! When a mother or a brother or father see that their death could get their loved ones out of poverty they sign out their lives as a sacrifice for their betterment! So maybe the virgins are not always in the afterlife but before?

Why do many people find it hard to find internal happiness?

Their world has been polluted with external noise! A lot in people's lives is ruled from day one by what first parents demand and later what friends expect or say that they never found out who they are! e.g.: A child is told that if they choose the right career that they will have a stable life but forget or do not know that systems of governance change and that today's great careers will be tomorrow's least great careers. Friends tell a guy that that girl who sits at home is a better choice for marriage than the gal who is out partying, never knowing that that girl who spent time at books will someday want to drop that book and go out partying and then what? Tables always turn and not necessarily only clock wise.

Finding oneself requires that one should shut the world away even if it's perceived as being antisocial! The world truly admires individuality; find a way of being oneself without offending everyone who comes close to you who wish to rub themselves at you!

There are ways of developing a silent mind in the midst of noise, it's called selective hearing and wearing virtual glasses where you paint the world in the colours they show you i.e let the world be where it wants to be so you can be where you want to be! I know this sounds a bit complex but what I am saying is that; in trying to carpet the world you may end up spreading yourself too thin!

People's opinions of you isn't supposed to stick because they are saying that as a way of self representation. Those who truly want you to be like them show in example rather than talk. More often those who show in example aren't trying to convert you, they are busy working on themselves! Those who talk are only trying to brainwash you into something they themselves can't live up to! Should you step into the shoes they haven't worn the blisters will be yours because no one ever knows exactly what your size is even if you tell them!

Think of yourself as someone who is going into the mall of life and you need to get yourself dressed up for the party. Where do you start from? Don't worry about how much money you have or don't because it's not the labels that matter but the fact that you are never going to be naked and it's the style you are in search for!

Being a crowd pleaser is like standing dressed up in labels without style!

Why do women feel the need to confront the other woman rather than face their man?

That's because men run when confronted and the woman feels that confronting the other is less collateral damage! If only some knew that those who break down a home for the sake of their pleasure will not be there to take the responsibility for their actions results. Ever heard when someone says "Whats for pleasure isn't often for keeps". Imagine the horror when one realises they were only used as a way for releasing pressure but not suitable for companionship.

Why do people misunderstand What someone does for who someone is?

Why do people misunderstand What someone does for who someone is?

It is presumed that when someone stole he is a thief! Wrong! Robin Hood may have been labeled a thief by the Sherif who had his eyes on the throne but to the people he was a hero. He probably was stalling the Sherif until Richard the Lion Heart came back! Sometimes to be cruel to be kind is risky to who takes on that journey! We often times look to many as the bad guy's but it's the result I am interested in! 

The result is what speaks of who one is! We have many a people who say but do not do! We have many a people who speak good to pacify the fears of the masses yet live many in delusion. It's amazing how we love the rat that blows air to our feet while chewing at it! 

Why can't some people differentiate between principles and beliefs?

They interchange depending on what is at hand or what we envision ahead! Principles are a set of rules that we hold on to regardless of what is before us, at least that's what principled people do. If a principle changes then it isn't a principle it is a belief!

Principles "code of conduct" deal with the inner self, belief "rules of engagement" is more about how one views the world around them. When the world changes principles remain the same! Given that we are influenced by our surroundings it means our set principles are an antidote to beliefs widely held in order to survive/develop an identity! Most times principles develop at a later stage in a life of an individual!

Beliefs widely held change hence following them can be detrimental to a human being with populistic ideas! A human being without his own rules can not be called an individual! An individual isn't a rebel he is someone who knows what is good from what is right and what is bad from what is wrong! Principles filters out the good and the bad from the ugly!

The Parable of the Weeds

To honour and to cherish!

Marriage they say is an institution so why then in order to enter it we aren't going through exams to get in but there is a penalty for getting out?

I would presume that to guarantee the successful establishment of the vows we all need to be aware of things that will happen before it happens but then the question arises; "will anyone make a commitment if one knew the responsibility and effort it takes to make a marriage successful"? I read this standard vow taken by many newly weds and I think......

Does one know what the law is? A vow is a law. The taking of responsibility to be there as a constant friend. To be faithful while in the presence of friends and family. To be there for that someone when sick and healthy, in good times and bad, in joy and in sorrow, promising to love unconditionally. To support in achieving goals. To honour and respect. To laugh and to cry and to cherish for as long as both shall live!

Looking at these words and being able to translate it into action is where we all get lost in translation! How is it possible to be unconditional when the vow has already put the conditions? Rich or Poor, sickness or health, joy or sorrow and all this with no intimacy because it all happens in front and because of friends, family who place their perception on what they think a marriage is supposed to be! If one is to cut off everyone in order to be successful in marriage then one is cut out from being able to survive physiologically, so it seems that every marriage is doomed to fail one way or the other. It doesn't matter what one does, there will always be someone who comes between! I pray God intervenes on our behalf when needed and not people who themselves seem not to grasp the meaning of honour and respect in the bid for their own profit! It is hard to find a friend(s) who truly cares for your well being rather than protecting their own benefit!

The other side is the major issue: do the individuals entering the institution know how to be a partner when they are lousy as a friend to their friends? Have they ever supported a goal of anyone of their family or even just one person before they choose to enter a union? Do they know what honour or cherishing is before they make a commitment to another?

We push children into matrimony while failing in raising solid adults! Yeah marriage isn't love, it is a social contract; a public spectacle where everyone is responsible for the outcome because we as people put asunder from the very start by pitching subjective opinions at the very moment the two meet and have not yet a relationship! Why do we put out the flame from a couple rather than fuel it up in them?

Captain my captain!

Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives and few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of the time. Voltaire

"Captain my captain" the phrase taken from the film Dead Poets Society. Can old structures carry the demands of the new? I think we are all facing the reality of today's social and economic shutdowns!

We have shut down creativity, we have so structured everything that even the arts arnt liberal anymore! We are teaching people how to write rather than liberating their hearts enough for them to speak in the thongs of their times! Structure can be safe but there comes a time when it becomes a cage!

carpe diem: I want to seize the opportunity in sharing a few fav dialogues from the movie Dead Poets Society.

• John Keating: Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.
• John Keating: There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.
• John Keating: I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself.
• McAllister: "Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams and I'll show you a happy man."
• John Keating: "But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be."

Ps: dreams help us negotiate with reality!

To be bicentenary is to be endless!

To be bicentenary is to be endless!
The transition of a soul to its universal state of being immortal through time!

If man had all the time under the sun would they try or would they stretch tomorrow for the pleasures of today? We forget that we are sent to this world to find purpose, living everyday towards achieving a goal!

Time is natures way of recycling both the good and the bad from the ugly!

Foreigner at home!

Yesterday I was going through one of my topics which related to the issue of being a foreigner. A friend of mine asked "why is it that foreigners are trusted more than the citizen in being given loans for trade"! As much as I had given a supposition as to why, my mind went also towards another direction of thought that the asking individual isn't aware of; the aching in some hearts of citizens who feel like foreigners in their own land regardless of if they are given or not utilities for basic survival but the other part of them always feels like an outcast!

Has any one ever asked the freckled of this world how they feel when all their life they are in between cultures? The coloureds of South Africa have tried to isolate themselves from this constant battles between the blacks and the whites. I have experienced that as a mixed kid where always I am singled out based on my ethnical or ethical background. I am neither white in my mothers land nor black In my fathers land and it seems that it is only in South Africa I feel neutral until the moment I start to speak and then the prejudice of me being Nigerian rates my life. What more is that my physical appearance separates me from the masses, I am a 6ft broad shouldered mixed lady with an accent in a country where most are less than 4ft tall. No matter where I go I see eyes stopping twice to look at me!


Where can I truly have the opportunity to blend without being conscious of the difference between me and them? Although many wish to be like me I am acutely aware of how much I wish to know how it feels not to be noticed. I did at some time wish I was shorter "I would have had more choice in suitors lol :) that was just my girly thoughts at a time, however given the experiences I had I know that even my character will be what will push me out of the crowd. As an adult I am fine now even more so elated by my being different but as a kid I always hid as much as I could! I am not complaining but still it would have been nice to know how it feels to be like everyone just as everyone wish to know what it is to be like me! I guess we all want to experience the effects of the opposite side for comparison but should one find oneself in such a situation one becomes acutely aware of how much they wish to go back to where they were. Switching side's, turncoats, I think these 2 words pretty much describe how one is forced to feel when one is different or in a different position! It seems as though "foreigners" are made to feel as though they betrayed their country, just as those couples who chose to be with another's culture but what is there for the freckled to do or feel when they were born without being asked?! To fight back, To fight back I say to the prejudice built in ignorance or for certain economic advantages of one culture over the other "we are all foreigners in a land and are in turn turning everyone into becoming turncoats to our souls"!
If an alien came from Mars to earth then I can say that's a foreigner not the white man whose DNA can be traced back to Africa where it all  began (according to what I was told)! The benefit of being mixed is that I actually have the right to be racial towards prejudicial minds!

Why is it about catching the mouse?

Why doesn't it matter if it is a white or the black cat, but about catching the mouse?

We are loosing so much good work to prejudice i am beginning to wonder if the colour of a skin more important than delivery? I can bring out so many failures of history in the white mans terrain that everyones heads would spin and the fact that there are very few black people asserting themselves then that there isn't any chance to actually have an objective count as to who is really a failure. Are black people more successful at dodging just so they can't be held responsible?

Now i Listen to the lyrics of Dr. Albans song Hello Africa and in a part it says

Martin Luther King, Mandela you had a dream
Self evidence and a quality for men
Africa for me and Africa far you de Klerk
It doesn't really matter whether a cat is black or white
What really matter is to catch the mouse
I'd rather do it in an African way
Hello Africa tell me you you're doin'

Read more: Dr. Alban - Hello Afrika Lyrics | MetroLyrics

What is the African way of catching the mouse, which i believe this lyric is trying to say about governance? How does an African govern himself? Should we go back and try find who and why failures and successes in history?

Why don't most people know how to read body language?

Their own actions/intentions deceive them. What is a body? Its a reflection of ones state of mind and soul. it is said "Learn how to understand and interpret other people's body language". I will ask have you studied your own body language and the manner with which you express yourself? Can we truly understand others intentions without assessing first our own? Focusing on others distracts you from yourself. For me the end result is what speaks louder than wasting ones time on figuring out beforehand what certain events could deter. Know thyself.

Sometimes i see one quote that had been assigned to 3 different people. My question is who of them originated it? Should i be distracted by who said it or by what was said? This is how life is and people are. One can never assign one thing to be same for all 3. This is the confusion that happens when one focuses on others rather than what matters.

Why does sometimes the eldest loose their birthright to the youngest?

Because they didn't create their own niche! My understanding of birthright is Respect or Identity.
the eldest kids in families are usually burdened with the issues of family and replace the duties of the parents. Although they are told they are leaders they have been burdened into managing issues rather than standing up for themselves. their individuality is rubbed off in the mud of problems that the parents didn't handle or didn't want to. It may not have been done deliberately but never the less in those cases it happened and it is left to them to pull out and head on the road of self actualisation. Everyone has dreams "aspirations" and it is your God given right not to surrender it to anyone regardless of responsibility to others.

The following is defines as birthright by the dictionary

• A right, possession, or privilege that is one's due by birth. 
• A special privilege accorded a firstborn.

I would ask what is the due of a child? what is a privilege? is privilege allocated based on the order to which children are born? i would hate to believe that our creator just chooses who he wants to favour, i think he favours those who choose to assert themselves. Should one eat if they didn't work? a hungry man is an active man not a wimp who expects being catered for for life. Regardless of if one is rich or not there is a level of self respect that comes out from applying oneself to anything. If one mops then be the best at it.

To him who much is given much is expected could mean if you wish to be more then do more and don't expect a pat on the back just or only because you are the first born. Stand and be recognised because simply wishing for recognition wouldn't give you recognition. Its the sheep with spots that the shepherd notices among the spotless. As the first born you may have been subjected into obedience but should that erase who you are as a being?

Its easy to say that "my parents loved the youngest more but i ask that you do not mistake affection for cuteness that you may not have felt to be that they didn't care." If they gave you same shelter and education as to the youngest then they simply were pacifying their need for attention from the youngest while you were supporting their duties but got too wrapped up in it and maybe they got so comfortable in you that they forgot that you as the oldest need to be cuddled as well. I am the eldest in the family but i never lost sight of myself in the shadow of my parents affection, well maybe i am a lucky one but then i had to tell myself that i needed to find my own happiness and identity.

Why does standing by someone out of pity not help them grow?

According to the dictionary pity is defined as the following:

the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.
a cause for regret or disappointment.
feel sorrow for the misfortunes of.

People want to see strength. A strong person gives confidence to others but demanding strength always from others and not giving back is a selfish act that leads those who were once strong to feel sorrow. when one sees someone in sorrow it is an opportunity for those who had fed from it at start to give back in kind.

If when you are weak when you were strong you don't find a friend who lifts you up then you had no friends in the first place. Interrelationship is the core of a good foundation for friendship be it in marriage or relations with others.

Sometimes giving a slap to a friend is a better remedy than pacifying their pain. It is crippling to keep on hearing sorry over and over again. The threshold for endurance is limited in humans. We are not machines and our brains are not elastic to the point of absurd expectations placed by others. Those who have been really low can spring up higher than ever before and vice versa. Personally i never knew what pity was nor the experience of compassion so i may come across as stone cold. I have my moments but no one sees it at least i try. A wounded animal goes away from the pack and into the forest to heal. Mother nature does a better job at bringing one back to life than any human possibly can. I indulge myself in my silly girly habits which could differ from other women's ways but they help me. I walk bare feet, i eat my fav foods and fruits, go to have a beer at a bar and simply don't give a damn about putting up a fine appearance. Connecting back to my original sins :)

Strong people are often an example to many and in effect those who look up to them cage them in their demands. Sometimes you can send everyone back into the hell they put you in let them have a taste of their own meal.

Why are women perceived to be naggers?

Timidity in a man makes women insecure and insecurity projects itself as nagging. Women are told that men are strong and when one meets an individual who gave them at start the impression of strength but within the walls does not project it it triggers the insecurity within a woman. Self reliant women do not nag they simply head on living a life.

According to the judgement of what women think men should be and they meet the opposite it renders the woman to become judgemental of him and herself because she can't accept that she had been wrong or was deceived.

To some level many do not understand what nagging comes across as. You could actually be talking down on the person rather than having a point to say. If a man feels low about himself he would become even worse than before. I understand that it isn't the job of the wife to bring up a husband, it was the duty of his parents but we should also realise that there are women who act like bitches. Now Bitching is the very definition of nagging. Just as men can pretend to be strong so can women pretend to be nice at start.

A good woman will never bring herself down into the bitch level, she would rather leave. Or for a laugh if it pisses you off that he drops his socks for you to pick it up just leave them there till they pile up and see what happens or maybe he just wants to look at your ass or bosoms when you bend to pick up his laundry. Wear sexy skimpy clothing and then deny him the doggy style afterwards saying you are tired because you had to do the bending all day. There is a different way to being a bitch without turning into a bitch :)

I am sure we all have friends who complain about their circumstances yet do noting about it. Thats NAGGING in effect.

There are no absolute rules only definite consequences!

With God on our side! There are no absolute rules only definite consequences!

Wisdom is the ability to produce results. The ability to see vantage points and choose the best option to achieve a positive outcome! The will to put oneself in the shoe "circumstance" of another before an action is taken. A perceived positive action may not always be fair to one or the other, someone always takes the fall but who knows if a fall in the eyes of the seer is actually a fall?

• Prudence "truth seeking/inquisitiveness/comparison/separating issues (see vantage points): also called "wisdom," the ability to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time.
• Justice "How best to execute" (facts/evidence): to achieve "fairness," the perpetual and constant will of rendering to each one his right. To whom much is given much is expected!
• Temperance (interaction/inter-relativity): also called "restraint," the practice of self-control, abstention, and moderation; tempering the appetition. What helps is the understanding of oneself during interaction with others "supply and demand"
• Courage (taking action/timing one's steps regardless of not having all info): this develops "fortitude ( the ability to confront fear, uncertainty, and intimidation),"
• forbearance (the understanding of the carnal nature of ignoramuses/circumstances beyond human control ie it's Gods will), strength ( of character to stop that which may have lingered), endurance (to take upon responsibility by not casting blame on just one party or take the hit for a moments peace or to resign all together), giving up is also an act of forbearance when all attempts in a respective timeframe has been exhausted, there is a deadline to everything.

Missionaries are like physicians who came to do a surgeons job. Rather than prevent they aided in rooting out cultures. Help refine the redundant traditions of a given people. Should they have had patience (long term plan for occupation) and understood the con of men who aided their expeditions, they would have succeeded at achieving their mission without bloodshed and retained respect!
"They must learn to follow the will of God" they said. The missionaries  should have understood that they in their ignorance were used as an instrument of the self-serving parties for economic interests only! Too much good can turn into evil when blind!

What is the will of God? The Will of God is in free will but he will not spoon feed those who he had already given the wisdom to lead. Every nation has a right to protect their way of life but they must also know that success of survival is constant growth and growing sometimes or most times means changing! Humans/nations perish for wanting to reman as they are, even when it is obvious that they are sinking!

It is said "don't throw the baby with the water" Habit is hard to throw out for fear of not knowing or seeing "wisdom" the difference between the baby, water and the bathtub! Ie as a mother I love my son but I must also know that my bird must learn to fly! Knowledge "experience + information" is the only treasure a person/nation can possess to secure and safeguard their future! If the past is lost how can one see the future, if effects are not recorded how can one trace to the cause and learn from it?

An aliai ( the enemy of my enemy is my friend) can become your enemy. Why? Because when they have seen you deplete your resources to fighting an enemy that isn't theirs in real terms they will capture you and your enemy too! An aliai isn't a partner! Those who don't start with you can't see you to the end nor can they see your end! An Aliai is an alibi "short term solution to an immediate need! Choose wisely!