Mkhuluwa - The Soil Cover
KISS - I Was Made For Lovin' You
To live a life like one wants doesn't often happen, what can happen and should in my view is the ability/will to turn things around. I am not one to look for excuses in what ever area I find myself as the mindset I have is what ever I find I work with it, whom ever I meet I try to connect even if it for 5 minutes, should it go further then friends and if there is a will and likeness/interest I simply respond. In work this is how it is, in relationships it's a different ball game as that revolves around my mental state at the time, I am not the type to shy away from communication, quite a chatter box when excited while overly serious when needing to achieve a goal, for the most part I jive in interaction with colleagues, a few will think that's not the case however I only now enjoy making enemies hehe have learnt my lesson.
When people don't know you in combination with not knowing themselves or those who have ulterior motives it compromises them being able to speak as well as during the process plans end up in the bin. I notice blunders easy but I let them slide hoping the person will notice if not I form a type of dialogue should they not get the drift I charge. To give people time to realise can take a long time which is why I give space, I simply attribute certain behaviours to environment or influence and I deal with it as such, never really failed at dealing with things as my approach is often investigative rather than prejudicial.
Life isn't that simple to describe it between the measures of no and yes, there is a path/plan and should there be joyful companions for friends it's always more fun. When people say keep it simple I ask how simplistic is their mind to absorb the extensive depths of experiences, how much can they endure, when they persist I ask how low should I go for them to get the drift, to what extent would people or a person go not to know when the cup is full......time always tells.
How Men & Women Communicate Differently
Trace Adkins - Swing
For those who want to see what happens in relationship is to watch kids. Take a group of boys and girls see separately how they interact, then mix them and see the change, after separate same group irrespectively of who likes who and watch the emotions of them trying to rebound while probably missing those they initially connected to, bring them back and watch the dynamic again. Why I say this, everyone regardless of their age are still kids when it comes to relationships. Unlike kids who are bold because they haven't developed bias and are quite forgetful of fights, adults on the other side with age become duller a-dul-t "a dul treatment" adulterated, of course what influences that is the growth path we experience while surviving, work styles messes with how people manage themselves and others. If someone is at a tough job or interacts with rough people there is a tendency for that to rub off on their character as well as affects others. Overly relaxed work environments have their down side as there is a tendency to be lax about people and things around them. So balance is achieved through conscious understanding of influences and chosen methods of response "mannered".
Are You A Narcissist or A Codependent-or-Both?
Taylor Swift - Blank Space
Lion King - Be Prepared
George Michael - Praying For Time
Mulan 2- Lesson Number One
Hands Across the World - AIRTEL ONE8
LIQUIDEEP - BBM
Liquideep - "Fairytale"
Dj Jazzy D ft Dr Victor -Johanna Give me Hope
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (Director's Cut) ft. Timbaland
Up until this moment only one person can say who I am, this topic revolves around labelling self and others in return labelling others through self image so it can be quite tricky to identify who is who and what is what, by the way in simple terms narcissist are those who physically and in mind trying to direct people towards their own aim. Personally I can hardly be bothered who wants to be who so long as they can handle their choice. In respects to work and implementing needed tasks I am just as flexible however when plans are set I demand.
I am likely to be labelled by narcissists to be one, codependent by those who are codependent. I believe that everyone to an extent has both however in some a trait or the other is present due to culturing and changes depending on who they meet. At first a majority are codependent and that is normal and should be, in event of turbulence if we fight those oppressive types of people we somewhat become narcissists as the struggle to regain oneself if there ever was that image of self we do develop biases. Do we accept others opinions of self or should we develop our own identity?
I have always had a character since birth I was always aware of myself and the environments I lived in, to have strong genetics and surrounded by strong parents I had cultivated an attitude and an outlook to life that allows me balance who I am, how and what I go for. Am I easily swayed? not likely, if I give a lea way to someone it's my manners as I seldom rush/not competitive at others.
In the instance of comparing communications styles it's a bit difficult when one is watching professionals at their work however when people are in gatherings and there is some form of chemistry going on then it's easy to see the changes. Rather than attributing communication styles to girly and boyish I'd say demeanour adopted by a personality is what separates boys from men if I should put it that way. The level of responsibility a person takes or is given is what indicates communication styles as well as determines the character development as it attracts certain experiences while with people.
In the side for girls; Personally I think it's wrong for guys to expect from girls who they met to remain the same when she becomes a mother, the influence child birth has on girls is profound maybe all girls should have their first child without a suitor and then start dating for marriage so that there wouldn't be that shock, on the other hand guys are less likely to want a girl with a child from who he doesn't know, boys are territorial towards their own let alone when it isn't theirs, if to adopt for most black men is a strange idea what's there to say about when there is a father around somewhere as guys have a tendency to pop into a girls life when she has moved on, oops they wake up mamas boys. Guys are quite oblivious of the fact that a girl is no longer a girl as soon as she is committed to a soul growing within her, even during dating that change occurs as when the dates progress from stage to stage the more serious we become simply because of the demands placed on girls by their dates. As soon as a girl starts demanding seriousness from guys they start running. In my case I don't ask for seriousness if it isn't there from the beginning it will never be, it's just an illusion when a guy pretends to be behaved yet when you look at his face all you see is wondering, I mean don't guys think that girls start becoming unsure of themselves and in return of the potential of a relationship because of that, when they are distracted girls become frantic? I sure will blow the roof and leave it's a natural thing to want exclusivity especially when there are std etc it's horrifying to find out that a guy can infect you by being silly with multiple partners, how long ago was condom widely known? If parents don't talk to their kids about sex how can they protect them? Pregnancy now isn't a big deal any more but protection hey that's real.
Reason & Experience Versus Truth & Wisdom
The Mask (1994) - The First Night
The Mask - Cuban Pete
Reading and writing basics in school is an accumulation of information how useful it is depends on the circumstances people face later in life. For information to be useful it needs an application to either life or work, if kids are not practising them that information is useless, to be able to apply mathematical formulae in addition with physics theories demands tools or an environment/circumstantial events which in their lives doesn't exist since they are kept within 4 walls both at home and in school, hence to develop analytical skills is hard for them, reading is analysis and it's stored usually through creating memorable memories in reference that's human experiences in life, in reference to wisdom it's applied to technical information and it's testing for deriving facts relating to professions that are chosen later on in life to sustain themselves.
Truth is abstract, wisdom is derived facts/evidence that proves truth to be valid for use, if a statement is useless to someone or a group of people it's often labelled a lie hence dismissed but does that make that statement false? No, it is a statement that relates to the experience as its originator is projecting in thought what affects his or her sensibilities hence labelled as emotions/feelings. so if someone makes statements that can't be proven it's usually dismissed as false or lies/manipulation; the usual propagandists methods.
In example if someone comes to me and says Russians are cold yet they haven't been nor met any Russian I am likely to dismiss it as an instigation or clearly the person is ignorant, should someone say Americans are this and that I am likely to say I will investigate it, I have met Americans outside of America while in Russia and it's different from what global political views are showing, never the less in any case I reserve my opinions of a person based on the notion sent by the media, same regard to all other nations.
How Women Subtly Test You
I am used to guys being intimidated as well as con artists so I simply aid myself with words that have dual purpose, if everyone wants to start a date with me but they have only one thing on their minds then the Arsenal comes out. I am older now and those tricks have reduced but on a social level I have learnt not to trust, a kiss always indicates how someone feels about themselves and me which is what leads, the love making also speaks for how a person feels about themselves and the foreplay about how the person feels about the other, Just because a guy is a good kisser doesn't mean the first kiss will be great, sometimes guys who kiss well don't often get the drift of what it takes to keep a girl, if the energy that transpires doesn't lift a heart then it's physical and people can go on like that deceiving themselves eventually they start looking for ways to breakup, if my heart beats I become a doozy and in that moment I simply put a reserve, great if a guy doesn't push it as at that moment I am likely to panic and run when I am serious about the person, should I resist the drive for intimacy the first night then I am totally out of my wits about the person. Yeee haa. By the way how easy is it to describe emotions without sounding inviting? There is a tendency for guys to think that when a girl says I love you to mean I want you, had one who said I love you and my reply was I don't know what that is and it's true as he didn't know what it was. Throwing words in the air yet doing nothing about it is what girls always reference to the saying "mean what you say and act like you mean it," I am not the type that throws love in the air, I prefer to show it through actions in a variety of ways like gifts that make sense what's useful as it lasts, like a face cap or a watch as a Tomcat I am not into the idea of receiving gifts even flowers but my garden sure needs some overhaul😇✌, I don't know how to give trinkets more like a note or a card, if I get a nasty text then I simply reply in same fashion. Guys use these creepy like messages to express their affections forgetting that it violates the sensibilities of the other, if you want a fuck better come over, if you want a kiss call me. Most guys are rough in their approach to girls why wouldn't they get upset.
How To Be Funny - Comprehensive Guide To Developing A Sense of Humor
The Mask (1994) - In The Park
Liquideep - "Fairytale"
My sense of humour is like that of the Russians in combination with Nigerian pegin. Likely to monkey around than using words that could offend someone. As regards pidgin that's easy, I use it often when I want to crack myself up or on social occasions. I hate laughing at others, I'd rather hammer them for being daft.
Have learnt some Dutch words like ikook "me too", poepie "darling", piemelcas which is kind of a tease "dick head" the Dutch do have nice sounding quirky sweet words. In Russian one can use the same word to insult as well as lovingly address a person, depending on the tone.
Codependents-Empaths-Going No Contact-Why and How We Should
House Theme Song Instrumental
Eminem - Not Afraid
Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way
Will Smith - Men In Black
Timbaland - Carry Out ft. Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (Director's Cut) ft. Timbaland
My dad can go bunkers when he sees someone threaten or trash any child, same it is with me, I am able to put myself in others shoes simply because the sense of justice exists and was cultivated by my dad. When someone is in a place where they are abused by a parent or a spouse they have the right to no contact. The memory of that person can drive someone into a mental cage and to rid oneself from that environment is important. Run away to neighbours. Some people don't want to know what some parents are capable of, to belittle a person to the level of nothing in their own house only to get them to do what they want to do is insane.
I see youth here who go through so much emotional turmoil that it drives even myself into a bubble of pain. To subject a child for the sake of the other into an oblivion is sickening, it's a trait of parents who marry for status, when they look at their children all they see is tools, it's their card against social dogma, and should a child not have the courage to fight back they usually find themselves used by others. It's important for society to realise that those kids they see unkept on the streets are kids of parents who abuse and the only way they sought to survive is on the streets or gangs and very few of them have the strength to resist, the determination it takes to resist builds will power however those kids are likely to be violent when approached in a wrong manner. They also develop excellent defence and attacking mindset skills but it's rough when they haven't reprocessed the cause of their demise, hence they are likely to be recruited into being assassins and or becoming real crime lords. I know boys that can't seem to breakout of that mental state, they end up hurting others.
Codependents Live In A State of Reactivity
Scorpions- All For One
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
I always minded my business and home, never really allowed any body derail me from what I wanted or needed to do, the fear of loosing my life ended when I was attacked by an angry boy on the streets at age 15 and at 20 in my own house by gangs so for me codependency doesn't exist as standing for myself and others is the primary function in my life. I am likely to be depended on than me finding myself depending on others. My sense of independence emotionally is strong even if I have kids. I am extremely calm as nothing surprises me any more, calm always to such an extent that someones ability to read my emotions is hard. I simply live through my soul and act through my minds heart, it's a state of spiritual tranquillity that I had found at a very early age progressively and it's in same respect I have learnt to deal with external issues and internally when managing youth. It's hard for dependants to live with me simply because I am mostly rational, should I be a dependant type person it would be easy to manipulate me, same bill of rights I give myself is same bill of rights I give to others, I distaste manipulation and threats towards others even if I can endure those who try to do that, in my mind if I love somebody for me to go the line for them isn't even a question and should I be asked about my loyalty or honour I get insulted as that indicates insecurity in others and I make a deliberate choice not to live in that state of mind.
Childhood Emotional Neglect--In Honor Of Robin Williams
The Mask (1994) - The Rescue (3/3)
Leona Lewis - I See You
I Feel A Song (In My Heart) - Gladys Knight & The Pips
GRANDMA'S LITTLE GIRL
Naughty By Nature - Hip Hop Hooray
Grandpa's Little Girl / Al Grant
Faith Hill - Mississippi Girl
SHAWNY SANDER - DADDY'S GIRL
Shakira - Loca ft. Dizzee Rascal
Nerf Duel: Brothers Sister
Warren G - Regulate ft. Nate Dogg
Celine Dion Les oiseaux du bonheur
The problem with dependent people is that they load on dutiful people their burdens and when you kick them off they start panicking or they become wicked simply because they want to get you back, in the process when you have built them up and you want to detach they use every means possible to drag you into their routines through a variety of deprivations, threatened with financial and even sexual depravity so that they can continue living the lives they live, in the event of feeling guilty that you abandoned them you end up coming back, they end up sucking your life's energy and eventually you become addicted to that attention, not realising you had been used, if you don't realise that early enough you end up a doormat or worse dead.
When a woman is caught cheating she ends up being scorned and if she succumbs to that pressure she ends up a victim. It is the reason lots of women leave their homes and even the children. To say that a woman should live without affection, berated and put down for not having certain socially outlined norms like education is the game of narcissist. Dependents are narcissists in disguise as codependants, That umbilical cord must be cut when taken for granted.
Narcissists and Codependents--Stuck In Loops of Painful Dystunction
Avoiding Rejection & Friends-Zone
How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 1
How To Have Amazing Sex - Part 2 - Increasing Intimacy & Dominance
In reference to "kids" who have been made dependant be it deliberate or by omission due to being too soft. As a mum I balance my ways with my kids, I am neither detached nor attached to anything I do or people I deal with, I have always had preset tasks in people's lives, same in business, it may not be visible but as it is I have very few people who hang on to me simply because I make sure that everyone knows from the start where I stand on issues, should they ignore I make steps to clarify where and what.
In relationships the guys I had dated never got the drift why I moved on as they simply didn't understand that just because I am theirs doesn't mean my life is theirs. I have a mission assigned to me on earth apart from being a daughter, sister, wife and mother, I am also a human being who needs to have a life outside of the duties. In the event that I am tied up in duties I take moments for myself, I travel to places that replenish my senses in order to come back new and ready for the next steps. In example my kids, should I make them dependent on me they wouldn't be able to stand firm when I am gone, I don't want them to struggle for affections nor in their careers. I have for instance ways in sorting things out as backups. I can either generate enough funds for them not to want and place it in trusts or I aid them with enough skills and knowledge for them to be able to stand on their own just as my father did for me and my brother. A lot of people may say that for someone who doesn't have money how will I create the trust, now this is quite prejudicial towards a person they don't know, money even in the hands of the rich gets depleted when they don't enhance their knowledge base as there is a tendency to be forgetful that stoping in one place can be detrimental, it isn't about accumulation of physical representation of funds but acquisition of experience/skills to sustain a lifestyle they wish. In my case as a woman I am not in desperate need to delude myself in pursuing earthly possessions to present validity towards the world, it's how I have always been, even to my rich friends I say to them to be mindful of how they see life, even if they are living in the world. It's a state of heart and mind, I cant compromise my soul for the sake of recognition by people who sooner or later will forget about who I am. Very few people remember those who fought for them, it's very obvious. I am not bitter about my marriage I just needed to let that person know why I moved on as he and his lot wouldn't let go simply because of the kids, I never mattered anyway so it's pointless any indication on how I feel as a woman, more a mother and that isn't what my life is made for. My daughter if not my son needs an image of a person she could bounce of her ideas and be supported in due time as an individual. As regards my son I hope he finds an example in anyone who he can bounce ideas of in similar fashion, I hope he can retain his sense of self as I have, same to my daughter. In my opinion narcissist are bred through enforced dependency methods by insecure or possessive people who use others to validate themselves.
As a mum to be detached from my kids while still being with them is hard because at moments I am told but this is not that and that is not this according to socially outlined norms, well if those whose lives are upside down have the time to tell tales only to make me their lab rabbit then they are seriously mistaken. I am the type of parent my father was and is still. I have gone past the worries of inadequacy as the pleaser died long long time ago. Right now I simply make sure the society doesn't rub those who are dear to me of their sense of self and what they had earned through hard work. I guess that's what Eki is there for, Alsu is too soft and exists for my loved once in the bedroom whooooo it's hot there✌, to make a remark y'all better behave yourselves which involves the public or the rod will be out hehe. Need to go out with the kids for dinner catch up later.
People who aren't willing to go after their goals despite the nay or ye sayers often seek for validation in others. Should I be afraid of the social perception of what I should look like or be I would likely be manipulated by their demands, in same respect it happens to people within family unit. If I had ever been afraid of the image of my family I wouldn't be able to be who I am and what I am able to do for them. As said before the fact that I don't have an oppressive father it's makes it much easier for me to be myself. Growing as a kid being in environments where I experienced racisim and violence I had developed a stand in life where no one dictates nor do I allow anyone dictate the terms for my being able to survive. Having an I don't care how I look helps simply because that's the beginning of some being manipulated. A lot of people think that because I am Osazes sister that I ought to mindful of how it makes him look. To those I say I am his elder sister and his image name destiny isn't mine even if we have similar star signs. In instances where he has his brawls with controlling personalities in his career field I do not sit to tell him how to behave, I am perfectly aware of what a person goes through when being attacked by an institution that tries to manipulate his life. People, he is my bro and standing by him regardless of what is real or isn't is my duty, in same regard he stands up for me and as per my father he is same. I would advice that those who sit to speak of what my image should be or not are only projecting their fears and evidence of what's going on with them themselves. It's horrifying for the majority because they do not wish to be exposed as I have had to in my marriage. Rather than having social outbursts like the students mass killings in universities or violence in the streets it helps to inform the public of things that I see and have experienced in society and the marriage that is over. Too many women are dying in silence, too many fathers and brothers are loosing their families and should my daughter be in such a circumstance who will be there to help her out if no one knows? The age difference gave him the excuse in behaving the way he did, everyone in my family gave him the space to behave appropriately.
Rejection results in relationships where one person is used, neglected as well as denied the opportunity to speak up. I had been for so long in mine simply because I thought that calling in my father and uncle into my issues would mean that I am not an adult, should I have done that things would have been different, i would have been out earlier at least i did it on my terms. It looks like when gals bring in their family members to sort things out they are being labelled weak however it's cool if a guy calls in his people to middle in affairs that made him week. In any way as soon as there are parties middling in intimate affairs between couples there is bound to be a breakup.
Friends zone is only dangerous for people who have a problem with differentiating/disassociating themselves from the dogmas that a girl should be this or that, people are made weak when such extreme divisions are made. If I am with a guy who thinks I should be girly then he better be the man, in my case that's impossible as the word impossible doesn't exist in my vocabulary, that girl boy thing is in the bedroom, who should be on top or under depends on who wants to take charge and who wants to give same pleasure to the other. Isn't it nice when people interchange strengths to make opportunities rather than focusing on weaknesses that creates threats? In public speaking on issues relating to family matters playing politics is dangerous as it misleads others and tomorrow same hypocrites will be saying had i known then, or read somewhere or someone's example thought me.
There is a major fear in most men when it comes to their physique, well if the woman isn't complaining why bring up the complexes? If you don't touch how is there to say who is who or how? Friends, what a bluf when on intimate grounds, try working together then you will know if you can be friends, can most guys take a word from a girl? Not often, which is why it's said that there can't be friendship between girls and boys as those types have been preprogrammed to think in separate ways.
Those who are open to experimentation eventually find out what who likes as being specific in the areas of where depends on who isn't inhibited. Gosh it helps to ask why do guys marry prunes then go to prostitutes? I wish those types of women luck when they pretend to be holy, should a guy leave a girl for being open then all the best as best to cut off that arm than leave in hell. He who ever reads the bible, does it only apply to principles on social interactions? I guess they removed the bits on intimacy between people. Oh kak tejelo tebya chitat obmanutomu pokoleniu.
The effect of dominance on anyone has a boomerang effect when it comes to exhibiting possessiveness, what it does towards a person is it creates a cage. Deliberately creating intimacy kills the drive for it, i believe it's a subtle game/approach on what effects those interested in relationships are aiming to create, free minded people tend to be at ease rather than sending a person on a tangent which creates rejection. In effect dominance is in physical action rather than verbal bashing.
People who are looking for experience should act rather than talk, talkers aren't speakers, talkers usually bash and i have exhibited that in my speeches as an effect, to be able to get across to the other asks for subtle rather than a drastic approach, some like it hot and some like it not, who has hurt someone should be the least to talk, its a trial an error thing, again this is a psychological area which depends on what experiences people have had or aspire towards while likely to be misjudged. In intimate levels it's not as loud as it comes across on the video, being raw is different from being blunt even though it looks same as regards sex. In public speaking to get a message clear it's hard not to be perceived as crass, some are ok with it and some aren't simply because of the exposure level. It's similar to dating where those who are uncomfortable with themselves often react rather than respond.
The issues between people who are in relationships or about to be is where miscommunication happens because of experience levels. This is for those who aren't in relationships even if they may be married.
On the side of those who have been married they tend to forget what it is like as some marriages are traumatic where people become shutdown even if on the outside they may look cool. Rascreposhenie; letting loose of negative emotions happens when someone is raw and this often happens with guys rather than girls. Girls that come out of bad relationships who havnt dealt with the effects are often shut down and listening to raw topics tends to open them i.e. in effect relaxes or in other terms can push a person out for air. Bashing someone back into a shell only creates a victim, this can be done with therapists, videos created by therapists or under the instruction or guidance of therapists helps people who are either very shy or shut down.
It's very disturbing to see when one lives in a world where when someone is in need of help and can't find it, there are those who internally are suffering but no one is there and in cases where one comes into a persons life becomes a victim, this is why people stay away from victims as they don't want to be violated, in effect what this does is it speaks loudly of a society but who is going to be there until the person has healed? Bashing someone with questions or retaliatory accusations rather than understanding them and being there may work or not. People who have been divorced need to go to Counselors or strangers are best.
No comments:
Post a Comment