Online RadioMag GAGA! Sweet nothing's and heavy shit! Aha! Just I asking Jah WHY for a because answer and how simplicity turns complicated!
a "what if this" and a "what if that" to the equation of the HOWs in this world! Isn't it about the What's in reverse? Fun and diversity no restrictions.
The first tactic that bad people use on you is an assault on your identity. They make you feel bad about how you look, how you do your things, your family background and pose themselves as an example. Regardless of what environment you get yourself in, relationships, business, politics you need to be aware that you are different and unique. As soon as someone tries to assassinate your identity move out of there.
Those who pick on your parents, have trouble with their parents, those who pick on you for no apparent reason, have problems with themselves. You need to remember that the circumstances that surround you to be where you are or what you look like was totally out of your choice but to change it is your choice. Do you really need to meet up to others expectations such as "living out of your means? or adopting a lifestyle you cant maintain just to blend with a particular society level? You need to understand that values are the only things that stand the test of time and good values make a pauper look and be the king. Everything is fine with you, where you are is only a starting point, even if someone makes you believe that that is your final place. A dream is an identity, live it to its fullest.
Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food. Proverb chapter 12:9
There are always those who walk on their feet yet make those who ride a dilapidated car feel bad about their ride. Don't give anyone the permission to place their value on you.
When you see only limitations then you have reached the breaking point. When you see no limits you fly. Pessimists pose themselves as realists but let me ask what is reality? Dont loose your grace!
It’s impossible to know how much you’re capable of until you decide to push your limits.
The difference between using your mind and intuition!
I believe the mind is made of memories good or bad often times we use this to make decisions! When one gets trapped in memories it creates illusions that often don't tally with reality! The mind is a zone for emotional triggers! Things don't often happen the same way all the time! Even if you have had previous experience, something is always different either you or a circumstance!
Intuition is based on knowledge: reprocessed memory of events and feelings, which gives a more balanced emotional outlook on things. This means it is an objective way of looking at a situation!
Those who use their mind often get it wrong, with intuition you are prepared and have a fall back plan even when you don't have all the facts! I follow my intuition and I am seldom wrong cos I don't take things personal! People who are slow to anger often use their intuition, their EQ is intact and collaborates well with the IQ! If you are emotionally strong naturally you see a picture clearer!
I want to have a bit of a laugh for once and be as narrow minded as I can fathom to understand how to deal with a situation I currently have with a youth!
This is a gal that ran away from home cos she was treated badly by her mother! She left a small town near Johannesburg and moved by gaining a job with an IT firm as a business development manager she is just 22 doing her best to keep her head above water and not succumb to drinking, drugs and prostitution cos she as much as her family has neglected their responsibilities she by her nature has pride!
She doesn't have enough money to rent a decent apartment and now has to squat in a room with other gals who don't really have a better esteem of themselves! These are situations I have to manage here and they are quite vivid in nigeria as well!
She comes to me crying for counselling about a relationship she is in! In the process it finds out that she is dating a guy who lives in his parental home and not paying his own rent, how ever he has got to know that she has no one but him, then she lives where she does and pays her own rent but has the audacity to judge her! If its me I would kick him to the curb for making her feel bad about what she should actually be proud of! I am having a hard time trying to tell her that he don't love her! With tears in her eyes she looks at me and all I could do is advice her not to get pregnant and use condoms cos he would leave her hanging with a child!
Comments:
Jose Ololade Bank said: A good guy will find a place for her, with a budget she could afford and not offer to help unless specifically requested by her with funding, and try so much not take undue advantage of her, again love thing hard o
June 24 at 9:49pm · Like
Uche Echi said: Wow Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie that is a hard case. Let us hope her infatuation for this person will not blind her to your advice. It is possible she may not see the bigger picture now to get out of the relationship that will one day put her in worse state.
According to your report, she is holding her own ground, even though she is squatting with other girls. Can you sit her down and paint the bigger picture for her, make her see things your way?
I think you should repaint the picture of the worst-case scenario, in the event of pregnancy things will get worse as you have said.
Let her know that even condoms are not full proof for preventing pregnancy. Those things do break unwittingly at the height of ecstasy.
If she is coming to you for advice, it means she trusts you enough to listen to you. Should she listen to you now she will for forever be grateful for taking your advice.
June 24 at 10:24pm · Edited · Like · 1
Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga said: she's developing and @ tht stage she'l rebel against conventional wisdom, if u'v time 4 her, help her grow, 1st she nids 2 leave the oda rottn apples 2 avoid contamination.
June 24 at 10:05pm via mobile · Edited · Like
Jocelyn Idemudia said: Eki tell her to rise above her desire, and face her studies and Job or business. She should stay out of dating for atleast six to seven years and when she wants to date, she should go with a matured independent man that is atleast between five and thirteen years her senior. Tell her to forget about love and that she can easily grow to love a responsible man whom is not a drunk or drug addict.
June 24 at 10:13pm · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie Thanks guys!
June 24 at 10:16pm via mobile · Like
Yohanna Galadima Simon said: From all indications the gal has more sense of responsibility than the guy per se. If that be the case, Alsu, why not advice and school the girl on how to use the scenario to her advantage by using the boy's infatuation to her to change his perception of
June 24 at 10:18pm · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie said: Don't know if she is smart enough to see through her love and longing to be with someone! I will try!
June 24 at 10:22pm via mobile · Like
Yohanna Galadima Simon said: Since its difficult for her to leave, subtly she can talk him into start beeing responsible. Soon the guy will see that he has to up his levels to keep abreast with d gal else he looses his sweet gal to some else.
June 24 at 10:23pm · Like
Enwenwen Daniel Ibanga said: @jocelyn @22 she isnt exactly a smallee, feel me? Alsu pls kip tryin, dn't knw her, bt frm ur descriptn she knows where she's headed, lil confused bt salvageable
June 24 at 10:28pm via mobile · Like
Alsu Ekinadose Odemwingie said: I doubt that when you meet a guy living with his parents that he would ever leave! He is apparently 10 years older!
June 24 at 11:04pm via mobile · Like
Parents think that by telling their kids what to do they have given their child the the needed guidance. Instruction isn't guidance in its true form. By instruction they are having their own sense of fulfilment. How about the fulfilment of the child/youth? By telling someone what to do you are limiting their opportunities, their ability to see a vision of themselves, by that blurring what they can as well as independently creating their own ways to go about it! This activity is what I call formal parenting ie putting blinkers on their eyes rather than expanding their vision to opportunities!
We automatically assume that we are doing what we should because that is what we have been told is good! When you are focused on one thing you seldom see vantage points ie critical paths. At young age your mind is that of a searcher! An informal parenting is when you detach yourself from your perceptions and experiences of life and career path mistakes and success! Our door was your door! We are not doing our children a favour by fixing them into a box! Our job is to be there when they rise and or fall, not setting limitations!
Over an extensive period of practice in working with youth and having the practice of human resources and IT gave me the ability to understand life time and resource management principles! I started structuring my life at 16; I had a plan of what I wanted in overall to achieve and left it at that! in example; No specifications on if it was a big house or small, a house is a house to me. If it came to me and I could afford it in terms of financial plus added effort to pursue it I did! A room is a roof but not the limit!
Parents give their kids specifications/standards but are seldom there to support and their kids fail at reaching the heights that they didn't set!
The proper way to do this is ask what they want and then help them see the different ways to getting there; explain that should one road to the destination prove to be dangerous/difficult this could be the other way to take! All roads lead to heaven but if the gate is in the north don't give them the direction to the south!
Why get territorial on someone who you clearly have been dating for more than 5 months? Why
when you get to know who they are you start hurting them with things that they had no control of; like making them feel small cos maybe they hadnt finished school or their parents arnt on a social class level that you feel you can present them to your parents. Isn't everyone answerable for their own actions towards themselves and others?
I had seen instances I work here with youth everyday and today i was working on the esteem of the girl. She went off her studies for a while cos she couldn't handle the sting the person put in her. She came from a dysfunctional home but she herself had discipline and focus as a result of making up her own set of principles but this guy came from a perceivably well polished home but he himself cant face his tasks yet he made her feel bad about her family background. Why do we project our self loathing on others? Remember if you hate something in someone, that thing is in you!
Sometimes you find yourself in a position where you have to make hard decisions between sticking to your principles of loyalty and a friend that used your loyalty to their advantage!
One is your principles and the other is the nature of some human-beings!
Many humans often don't understand that loyalty should be continually earned or is the question "did they really care"?! They can get away once, twice and even trice and then after sometime they start seeing you as a fool, not realising that from the first moment even though you gave them a second, third chance you had actually lost that sense of friendship!
Trust that voice, don't put yourself in a position of self doubt! Stop holding on to illusions that some can change, sooner or later it will turn to bitterness or self doubt "holding on to the faith that maybe you are wrong somewhere, maybe you misunderstood not realising you we're misinformed or could actually have been used! It pays not to have a misguided loyalty! There are guidelines to everything! Standards must be kept you can't be a forgiving fool forever while your heart is being pounded into the mud!
"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."
— Sylvia Plath
I don't write about what I can't imagine myself do and currently doing! Writers write about their experiences and CEO's execute what's in their heads! My heart is open and mind is free!
I was asked a question why am I public about anything and everything! Well how else can I keep track of my mind and deeds? I can anything and everything, no one told me I can't, neither can I be stopped! My heart leads me to where I can imagine despite not knowing what I would meet!
I was given a dream I can't let it down! My word is my bond, I owe to Life to see it through how ever short lived! My kids or anyone who feels it can carry on from where I stopped!
I am a very hard but not a difficult person to live with, elementary was not meant for me! I dont treat life like its a ride in the park! I don't mess with people's lives and will not allow anyone mess with mine simply cos others depend on me. I have kids that need looking after, and a dream that is bigger than me I think sometimes but I never asked why me or what if in moments of darkness! At 18 I was given a vision.
People like me are best left alone or followed, neither do I force anyone! Free will! I cant help it to take leadership when i see the generals are fearful! Be what will be but I am sure walking my path and wait for no one. I dont aim to stand at the mountain top alone but while climbing should i see the team following is in danger and there is no time to pacify the leader into leadership i will take the lead! I don't ask questions I check my mates!
My Africa is my dream, in every little way I can I will give of myself to who needs my brain, and heart, should that cost me friendships and marriages and even family so be it. I dont need strings that will pull dreams down! I do hurt cos I had to let go of a loved one! It wasn't my choice! I have HIM to answer to, for giving the experiences that built my heart to be what it is! He will soon show me why I had to meet people I met and will still meet! He tests me with little things and should I fail at them he will not give me greater things! He gives great things to great people! My brother is one and I follow! If my junior did, mine is a harder path as the eldest! It's my birth right, I carry my cross with humility! Life don't care if you a girl or a boy!
I am scary to most men! Ie even when I smile I am intimidating. I don't hide how I feel or see things! So far I believe I haven't made a mistake cos I sleep in peace and no one has come for blames nor hold me to ransom that I owe and never gave back, frustrated they may be but no blame! They can acuse me of being hard and tough about things and thats about how much one can accuse me of!
I was born a soul before I was told by the world I was a woman! My father and Mother named me according to the faith and courage they held towards the future! Only for the bigoted world to tell them they weren't to be! I and my bro were born and with that came the blessings and trials! Our parents won even if they didn't hold! They are together in us.
My men in the family are not sheeps cos I and the women ain't a wolves! Men should recognise the power of women when they see it! I believe this is why women are held responsible for the outcome of their family welfare cos truly behind strong men there are strong women! What strings you keep is what makes you weak! I can be overwhelming cos I am independent to boot and daring even to my family!
My space is made for those who fear life and take care of the living!
I doubt if everyone is ordained to have a nest but every must live according to their calling, that I believe is a nest!
I am some one who when put under control will loose control! Free thinking people don't wear their emotions on their sleeve! They may be sensitive but seldom emotional. I don't think I was made for an ordinary life, i never had a chance to even know what ordinary is from birth and through youth and very few african men can live with that! I dont think like many women and my foot goes where my heart calls! I pay my price with a simile and will carry no baggage longer than necessary! I have the audacity to fly cos I was told I can! My generation and the next need me, and same it is with you!
