Do Not Sell Your Birthright, Nor Loose their destiny!

Do Not Sell Your Birthright, Nor Loose their destiny! Genesis 25:29-34

When the boys grew up, Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the field, but Jacob was a peaceful man, living in tents. (Genesis 25:27). Genesis 25 records the birth of two boys to Isaac and Rebekka. From the very beginning, God said that their  descendants would become two nations. From the start, it seemed as they were struggling against one another in fierce competition.

Example of men who wake their women with a surprise of a new child from another. So many men on their burial day develop kids no one knew about. I call them daft, lack of foresight to what consequences it brings. If you say one needs to heal our society then there are certain principles one should understand. It isn't acceptable, it isn't. No one seems to be addressing this issue and the reason for daft is that men seem to think that just because he had a child for another the woman should accept. Sorry man that ain't me to accept. Just because i love kids don't mean i need surprise headaches. Cant wear a condom thats your cup of tea.

There are very few men who will accept other mens kids, i don't see why a woman should be forced to nurse another's child. African women are carrying burdens that isn't theirs, sibling rivalries become deadly if one of the women in there has a bad attitude to life. Yes the men that do this sort of tricks are daft. I married a man with 3 kids from prior wife, accepted and cared for his kids knowing that they had separated before i was brought into the picture. That was my choice and i worked the responsibility well. I still don't know what the future will hold, but i pray that i sowed a seed of good will in their hearts.

I feel a woman doesn't love herself and her kids by accepting being cheated on. Guys if it is acceptable then let wives nest kids for other men. Whats good for the goose can become good for the gander as life's revenge. I know a lady who accepted one kid from the outside and now regrets because he added 3 others to the plate afterwards. Just as they say "a thief is a thief so it is with a golfer". Swing high swing low and so your life and the kids lives will be a rocking boat. This is exactly one of the reasons that broke down our todays society, where women who kept quiet poisoned the minds of their daughters with the pain because the men didnt manage themselves. Yes we women are just as evil as we are kind, we are jealous by instinct to anyone who breaches our territory. Has anyone been successful at toying with the well being of a lionesses cubs? In the animal kingdom the female always takes her cubs to safe grounds away from the male aggression. Females are aggressive when safety is needed. We all have to start understanding what is the root cause of the corruption within our system, RIVALRY of values. In nature there are birds who put their eggs in other birds nest. Who knows if its a dinosaurs that you are incubating for another in ignorance and they eat up your sidling? No it isn't acceptable to be forced. 

I aint a saint but, and this isnt to pass a judgement to those who have made mistakes but to the present and future generations to realise one of the reasons we are in hell today as a society. The bible is full of riddles and they need to be deciphered. Forgiveness doesn't mean stupidity. If as a person woman/man you are lost multiply it by 10million then you will see why we are where we are. It isnt permissible that a rich man should give himself excuses that he can take care of anyone and by that adding more issues to the future generations. If you have kids outside make sure you set rules by which everyone should abide by. Take responsibility by making sure everyone knows their place, and no one seeks excuses to attack anyone or your future generation will live in hell because you didnt allocate each of your children's birthright accordingly.

Those women "second wives" who by naivety and ignorance have kids for men who were living with their legally married first wives should develop their kids to be independently minded from any right and respect the eldest kids of the man regardless of if he loves his first wife or not. That is a choice i have made and i stand independent even if i am today the legal second wife. Yes men are good, but they lie and that is what you will have to be dealing with for the rest of your life. Be focused on your kids development regardless of if you think or are legal. You are the second and your kids shouldn't pay for the lie you believed in. It isnt a shame to fall for someone but it is a sham to fall face down. Guilt in hiding turns to pain that erodes your future and the future of your generations.

And i say Men do not know how to manage social affairs appropriately and this needs to be handled in conjunction with women. By nature we are social based creatures, hence we have been given the blame for anything going wrong within the family which translates towards society.

Today i had discussed the issue of rape within and outside me and my environment and it is again on the shoulders of women because as i heard men rape women because they are not dressed properly. Lets start addressing this form this perspective.

I live in a country were rape is crazy, some say some have been told its a culture of possessing a woman, they are in a real mess when it comes to this. Let us be a bit mean and forget any inhibitions or baias on this topic because i believe if left un-objectively trashed out it will eventually escalate to a point where men will stay away from women and women from men, which is quite obvious is wrong as there are only 2 species existing on this planet.

On a private level in order to heal one must accept some level of guilt. Guilt for what? In my opinion women are terrible flirts, and dont want to follow through when they initiate a discuss. Men pretty much are led foolishly by their urges and dont know the difference between a woman being nice and taking it as an acceptance but at some point reason has to kick in. Rape isnt just physical it is also mental.

The issue of a rape victim is that they struggle with 2 things, Blame and Anger and anger is as a result of the blame. Some may instinctively accept they were partly at fault but when you live in a society that tells you, you should accept the blame and the guilt then it renders more cases like this to happen. Half the time what happens is that the family of the victim starts blaming and treating the victim underhandedly. Even in cases of child molestation the mother in guilt isn't able to accept her blame for not watching over her child and eventually hurts her-child even more than the molester. This isn't just about our nation, this is a global problem. Molestation of kids both boys and gals have been going on for centuries. I beg to ask how did the world populate if ADAM and Eve were the only specimen God created? Which means in everyones genetics there is a tendency to be attracted sexually to your own blood, after all the royals are known to marry their own cousins even if it is from the 7rd leg. Shame need not take charge in this matter but care and caution sure needs to rule. Those who have been violated either violate themselves or violate others as a reflection of their pain, they need to be taken care of.

CHARACTER DESCRIPTION OF SOME TYPES OF GALS.

Man is a physical creature i.e he likes what he sees and goes for it, without a 2 bit thought to what is actually leading him, gals draw to older men because they sence security and knowledge thats what i fell for, well we women grow up faster than our mates for boys so age isn't really an issue for us. We seek security physical and emotional so we get deceived that that comes often from an older "perceived' wiser male. As it turns out that isn't necessarily the case as wisdom isn't shared equally through time but is as a result of experience and correction of bad mistakes. There are many who carry bad i.e. selfish intentions.

There are 4 character type gals, at some point i was through some instances with boys and have daughters (adopted and one of mine) and i work with youth so i see all this happening and the circumstances that people invite subconsciously to happen. Nature to a large part leads, but nurture protects.

One is flirty, One is strict, the other is girly and a tomboy. They all respond to men differently and have each different ways of dealing with the circumstances they find themselves in due to a variety of backgrounds they came from.

The flirty comes from a broken home where parents are absent and her flirty behaviour needed to be addressed because the background to it is that she is seeking attention because she was neglected, not necessarily deliberate but due to our todays lifestyles where parents are at work 24/7 and have little time or energy left to notice that their girl/boy is changing. Hormone driven by nature, demanding things they themselves dont understand. Parents at this age are usually screaming and abusing further the kid because they dont know how to handle it, then the child runs away and your daughter gets violated or lost further. I wouldn't blame the child nor the individuals who are trying to be parents but i would blame the lack of skills in parenting. I again beg you the society to stop pushing your kids to marry without proper counselling on parenting. I see no need for clouding the word parenthood with marriage when it comes to child needs. Knowing how to cook is a minor problem which can be learnt, also assuming this was supposed to be dealt with during the individuals growing phases of life either at home or in school through home economics classes. Knowing how to communicate with your chosen spouse or the opposite sex is established during courtship if they eventually found themselves picking up a date for the wedding or while growing up in a not segregated social environment. Parenting and spouse support skills is the focal point and the lack of it is the main problem why most homes break apart. The women in most cases are over loaded with the responsibly and they crash emotionally from the spouse.

The strict type gal may come from a poor home but she had a stable upbringing, she wasn't kept as a nun but she was protected by father and brother, and may not have had the figure of the mother around, she may have had other female figures around. She is the one who one can talk to as against the flirty one who is just all emotional all the time. Girls must be allowed to have an active life but make sure you know who they are dating or friends with. Better allow who ever friends she has to come around and let them do what ever it is they like but under your roof, make it a point to know the families of the boys, so they know you will rain hell if your girl isn't  respected, and make sure you tell your gals that men are like busses, they dont need to be ran after, next will come if they be busy with themselves. Sorry sometimes there is no other effective picture to draw up to drive a message to a gal about the bad wolf. On another plane one can run into danger, the risk you fall in in caging a gal is that she may get so nerdy that no guy would notice she exists as a woman, thats how men are "peacocks" they like what they see but stay with what they perceive beneficial to them. Teach your gals to understand what short term vs long term value is in sustaining themselves and hopefully a relationship. To be able to sustain oneself is by far more realistic than the terrain of relationships. So a balance is required where they go through short courses on how to do makeup, cook, know how to sow and at the same time take up professional projects that stimulate the brain and prepare them for their career. This is supposedly what going to school was about at some point in the human development times. I had that shared between home and school, between grandmothers and teachers i respected. These days parents don't have the time not because they don't want to in most cases but because the boss wants his share, however sometimes i think strangers may be more effective at handling your kids at a certain age level. Children tend to use the knowledge of the parents weak points to their advantage. 

Boarding schooling isn't a solution as that puts a gap between the parents and child, maybe an off and on 3 days in school and 4 days home would give both kids and parents time to rest and miss each other to ease the tension that often arises when people are in each other's space, everyone needs space to reflect. Who knows it could work, at least its better than a total loss of communication. Everyone needs a vacation to appreciate whats there and recoup.

With boys i ask them to demand of girls a higher level of expectation other than physical gratification. I am sure that at a certain age with boys to them being used as sex objects would sound positive but at some point when as grown men they would admit that Quality is far better than Quantity, of-course this is for those who have had more physical than sensual experiences. With rearing kids one needs a level of tact in action and creating strategic situations to bring the right results.

Gals who come from structured homes are made to feel good about themselves and engage men on a mental level even if they dress up to show what nature gave them. You will find out that a gal in a short skirt may not attract hell on her because weather we like it or not, we need to acknowledge there is an aura that surrounds a gal who is out on a prowl. We all have that animal instincts and just as a dog can sense fear, so do boys and men can sense when a gal wore a skirt to attract.  Body language also gives one out! You will find out that a gal that dresses up all covered is also being violated because her body language speaks something else so it isn't about what one has on but how one carries it.

Most know what influence gals have on their dads, where they can spin them round and there are gals who have mastered that skill and are ether successful with it and aren't, from age 3 my daughter is already by nature showing the traits of self awareness, she knows how to spin me and her dad for anything she wants, with me she hardly gets away with it, while i am just plain daft to what a man is because i like to climb trees ":)", so i am likely not to attract danger to me because guys don't like gals that are too hard to get. I thank God for being me at times but sometimes i regret it. It didn't help me with marriage as i demanded a higher level of stimulation, so i am just totally out of balance even if my pictures say different :). I guess i am rediscovering my potential in this other area. I am kind but tough to bullshit. The older i grow the better i am at negotiating boarders, my Inbox is made for putting mentally deranged men to check themselves :) I love men but y'all are full of kaka gently speaking. Deal with it. If i like a guy he will know without me even saying anything and thats where i think many get it wrong in the manner at which they approach women like me. I guess i learnt through having bad relationships. Behind my smile i hold a fist. Thats what i think a woman should be. A cake in one hand and a slap for deserved occasions, because guys get carried away. A boy is not a Man i now know!

When gals are told that life is all about being married and to boys that women are only good to only be put in the home then both will loose the essence of what they could be toward the opposite sex and who they are in relation to oneself! Both will negotiate their price wrongly or rightly in the stance of life. I do to an extent blame religion for giving the male the illusion that a female is his subject but forgot to clarify that both are to be beheld in the very positive sense, well as Madea said "Grits are cooking on the stove" or through the help of law "sticks on fools backs" as best comes to my mind. A woman should mould an iron rod with the mark 666 and use it the very first day he gives her a black eye, so let him carry the mark on his 4head in public since a black eye on her face does not shame the public who fails to protect women. Women have to be strong, who said a woman is weak? Being a 6ft tal gal and a proud owner of a belt in Tang Soo Do (will leave the colour out as to not scare my admirers who keep liking my pictures :) I doubt messing with me will be convenient. Yes a gal needs some acknowledgement but then there comes a time when it becomes looking like stalking. Marshal arts develops a disciplined individual. At age 14 my son will be sent to china for that purpose alone, i dont believe in military service for boys as that breeds animals rather than disciplined individuals. I also went for baley classes even if that was short lived, but hey the rumba is still in the body as well as that allowed me to know what it trully feels like to be held like a lady, so no man can bluff the I Love you with me, it is all in a mans touch. Gals should go for it, as well as boys learn how to hold and feel a woman. It helps to manage the effects of lust.

In the old days every boy and gal of a certain social level was employed to go through activities that connected them physically and emotionally towards each other, because talking to teens does nothing but most times makes them more agitated, as they cant understand the complexities of the human nature and it is intense as we just like men follow animalistic instincts to procreation. For boys it's fun but for gals it turns out as responsibility that they may not be able to handle at an early age mentally and physically! Have a watch on the film "Take the Lead" sometimes i wonder if our human ability to talk "verbalise effects through sound only" has actually made a mess of things. Silence they say is golden. The age of 13 to 22 are the most volatile years of any youth and they shouldn't be harshly jugged as that is the age were they cant be told, they should be guided in the variety of senses we possess. When you were a kid you speak like a kid. Every thing has its time and adults shouldn't be absent minded in using grammar to explain the complex knowledge of biology.

Etiquette Classes: Why should a beauty wait for the beast to turn into a Prince? because he would treat her like a princess.

How you speak with your body and verbally is what these classes were all about. If you would recollect instances in your life where some obviously pretty gals don't attract the good men in their life's and they envy a gal who isn't supposedly beautiful yet has all the attention without even trying you will realise it isn't all about her physical attributes but the manner in which she carries herself. Its about the presence, whats within reflects and attracts, unfortunately we have bees who like all flowers so to discriminate isn't bad. Our instincts should come to thought, that can protect. Girls used to attend etiquette classes, now its simply none existent. Etiquette isn't about  carriage alone but morals. My dad used to tell me if you lock up a gal for 21years the day you turn around in one day she will do what she had pictured in her mind, because there is no where to avoid peer pressure and the influence of the media, so a balance of nature and nurture should be considered. The aspect of nurturing is the ability to bring out the better and not the worst in oneself and others, sometimes a slap is a better tool for driving a message. Women be kind but be tough.

To the topic that a friend of mine TEMIDAYO posted earlier yesterday i responded to her post:

But who rapes? An intelligent man knows how to woo a lady. When men are educated they dont become rapists, in short women are raping them mentally, for real if this happens in some rural area in Nigeria i wouldn't even believe because our women are somewhat easy to persuade, good or bad but we don't really have an epidemic of rape because prostitution and affairs are normal today how ever it may be different. By the way with the way women are being accused of being easy to get etc wouldn't we say men are actually running away? Holland has legalised it so whats the big deal? Some states in America have legalised weed, beats me but then they would have a rational to it, which is why sometimes i don't listen to what some refer as taboo because some law will legalise what prior was prohibited, we might as well understand what the principles hold in all these rules.

Men shouldn't forget that their wives are not just subjects to marriage, but they are sisters, daughters, aunties mothers that they have also growup with in their homes. I remember saying this earlier that it amazes me how a man who loves his own mother and sister and unties who are around him when he needs help and accepts their independence and personalities forgets that his wife is thus much to her own and society or does he accept because he has no choice that his wife or girlfriend is now an experiment to his carnal rule? We're his women really treated as women or was it carefully orchestrated to lure the good and subject her to his whim? If some women dont rise your daughters will have no hero to emulate for lack within and tomorrow when she is relegated to the level of a prostitute even if she is within a confined space of marriage her heart and body and soul is dead. Thats the definition of a prostitute "SHE WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHERE SHE BELONGS" because she doesn't know who she is, made a yoyo to serve the ego. Is it that she is yours that you impose your will on?

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I look at my boy and i say how can he become a rapist if he has a mum like me? What would make him disrespect himself to come low to taking what with some level of intelligence he can get easy and enjoy a fruitful relationship regardless of how short-lived it may be? Is it in how many or how well?

To understand what to bring out i would look at what would make a boy rape a gal, it isnt in telling him that he shouldn't disrespect a gal, its in making sure he is employed as a boy from age 10 in working on activities that mentally connects him to understanding that women are mental creatures? This respect actually should come from the MUM, no DAD can trully explain to a boy what a woman is.

A poster said "my rapist didn't know he was a rapist"

Why does she get raped? Why is she in the wrong place even if structures are in place by the societies effort to make everywhere safe? But it happened lets take facts out of why she was. She treated herself underhandedly, she was drunk, was obviously flirty and may have led a guy or 2 to believe she is available. Was she seeking attention? The other day i spoke to a friend on acceptance of a charge of 20 years for being stupid "rape" crime is it a case of Victim of one or Faulting both parties when one is actually dealing with a scene where as on a picture a gal wrote saying "My rapist does not know he is a rapist" hm if he didnt know then, was he made to believe he was a friend? I posted sad at start because i didnt know exactly what to respond to the issue of rape or was the issue that it was taken out publicly because no one realy knows how to deal with it? It is wrong not to have self control, both mentaly or physically but at the age from 13 to 22 hormones lead, and hormones are managed through mental and physical activity i say again.

Nothing comes from noting. I employ you to watch the "sound of music" again the answers are all there. I dont tell my kids what to do, I inform them of how, there is a difference between brainwashing and showing pathways. I ask my kids "why they want to do what they do" so it develops their thinking brain, as against loading them with my views on life. It is a method of coaching them to think before they do. Every action has a varying amount of effects, they need perspective thinking not subjective reasoning.

Kids are little adults, and adults are grown kids. I dont need to fight my kids, i am not in competition with them. Kids who leave home, leave because they havnt been allowed to explore the home. Look at what many mothers do, they even prevent a kid from crawling round the house in fear of them hurting themselves. I have made it a principle that i leave my house void of any trinkets, my furniture is all soft, no glass, this way i dont panic about where my kid wonders in the home. As a parent i watch how they do their things so that i know what personality God sent to me.

A friend posted this and i believe it is true.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years" ~ Mark Twain

"When I was ten, I thought my parents knew everything. When I became twenty, I was convinced they knew nothing. Then, at thirty, I realized I was right when I was ten." ~ Mark Twain

Save the youth from themselves, save yourself from yourself, and save them from making mistakes they would live to regret.