I don't write about what I can't imagine!!!

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."
— Sylvia Plath

I don't write about what I can't imagine myself do and currently doing! Writers write about their experiences and CEO's execute what's in their heads! My heart is open and mind is free!

I was asked a question why am I public about anything and everything! Well how else can I keep track of my mind and deeds? I can anything and everything, no one told me I can't, neither can I be stopped! My heart leads me to where I can imagine despite not knowing what I would meet!

I was given a dream I can't let it down! My word is my bond, I owe to Life to see it through how ever short lived! My kids or anyone who feels it can carry on from where I stopped!

 I am a very hard but not a difficult person to live with, elementary was not meant for me! I dont treat life like its a ride in the park! I don't mess with people's lives and will not allow anyone mess with mine simply cos others depend on me. I have kids that need looking after, and a dream that is bigger than me I think sometimes but I never asked why me or what if in moments of darkness! At 18 I was given a vision.

People like me are best left alone or followed, neither do I force anyone! Free will! I cant help it to take leadership when i see the generals are fearful! Be what will be but I am sure walking my path and wait for no one. I dont aim to stand at the mountain top alone but while climbing should i see the team following is in danger and there is no time to pacify the leader into leadership i will take the lead! I don't ask questions I check my mates!

My Africa is my dream, in every little way I can I will give of myself to who needs my brain, and heart, should that cost me friendships and marriages and even family so be it. I dont need strings that will pull dreams down! I do hurt cos I had to let go of a loved one! It wasn't my choice! I have HIM to answer to, for giving the experiences that built my heart to be what it is! He will soon show me why I had to meet people I met and will still meet! He tests me with little things and should I fail at them he will not give me greater things! He gives great things to great people! My brother is one and I follow! If my junior did, mine is a harder path as the eldest! It's my birth right, I carry my cross with humility! Life don't care if you a girl or a boy!

I am scary to most men! Ie even when I smile I am intimidating. I don't hide how I feel or see things! So far I believe I haven't made a mistake cos I sleep in peace and no one has come for blames nor hold me to ransom that I owe and never gave back, frustrated they may be but no blame! They can acuse me of being hard and tough about things and thats about how much one can accuse me of!

I was born a soul before I was told by the world I was a woman! My father and Mother named me according to the faith and courage they held towards the future! Only for the bigoted world to tell them they weren't to be! I and my bro were born and with that came the blessings and trials! Our parents won even if they didn't hold! They are together in us.

My men in the family are not sheeps cos I and the women ain't a wolves! Men should recognise the power of women when they see it! I believe this is why women are held responsible for the outcome of their family welfare cos truly behind strong men there are strong women! What strings you keep is what makes you weak! I can be overwhelming cos I am independent to boot and daring even to my family!

My space is made for those who fear life and take care of the living!
I doubt if everyone is ordained to have a nest but every must live according to their calling, that I believe is a nest!

I am some one who when put under control will loose control! Free thinking people don't wear their emotions on their sleeve! They may be sensitive but seldom emotional. I don't think I was made for an ordinary life, i never had a chance to even know what ordinary is from birth and through youth and very few african men can live with that! I dont think like many women and my foot goes where my heart calls! I pay my price with a simile and will carry no baggage longer than necessary! I have the audacity to fly cos I was told I can! My generation and the next need me, and same it is with you!

Dont create the monsters!

There is no way to avoid heart aches no matter how much you know! I personally will refrain from giving any one of my kids advises on what to avoid! Id rather help those who are currently going through pain!

As a parent I have to be there to hold them strong and try help them through the hurdles! But i cant chose their paths or assume i know their destiny! When they say "see no evil do no evil", for me it also applies to dont create the monsters cos you will be opening a door for them to see what may actually not be there!

I loved passionately and I broke my heart with same passion and its worth every pain! I know I never loved in vain cos I discovered I could and still will! Of course with a bit more thought to how I react to things! I have learnt to ignore and not take things personal!

I never was a calculator and that has enabled me win every battle as soon as I recovered! I have no regrets despite the pain!

In Pursuit of happiness!

In Pursuit of happiness quote!

Christopher: Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said "God will save me", then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, "God, why didn't you save me?" and God said "I sent you two boats, you dummy!"

God will not come down to save you, except in very extreme moments! Most times He sends someone with aid, not often family but a stranger with a message! They may seem to create chaos in your life, they may bring joy, they may be for short or long term, they may be just for a minute, if you refuse to look at the message and hold on to anger or illusion, you will miss the boat!

Nothing comes perfect, you have to respect the gift by doing your own work to earn it!

You can not sit and be blaming anyone for not saying it the way you wanted it, if you asked for help, then receive it with gratitude! Everyone is a messenger in everyone's life and gratitude is not in voicing out thank you to the sky when you got it right or casting blames when its gone but in the care or welcome you had shown while the messenger came with good news!

You did not persuade me!

I am about to watch for the second time the movie "the last king of Scotland!
In the sene where the Ugandan President was having a conversation "argument" with his doctor!

Idi Amin: I want you to tell me what to do.

Nicholas Garrigan: You want ME to tell YOU what to do?

Idi Amin: Yes, you are my advisor. You are the only one I can trust in here. You should have told me not to throw the Asians out, in the first place.

Nicholas Garrigan: I DID!

Idi Amin: But you did not persuade me, Nicholas. You did not persuade me!

Is persuasion what a man seeks but when told he doesn't listen?! These are things that baffle me with leaders or people put in a position to lead a family! When they get used to being praised, when they are isolated from who they serve they no longer see the truth! If the people put you there shouldn't you speak to the people? But then what people?

I plead with you men that you open your eyes to what is real, Power isnt real, it is an illusion that makes you think you are god and eventually you turn into a tyrant! Does man really need to feel big? Does one really benefit from power? If it is said the meek inherit the earth, what then is Power?

Dead, you can do nothing!

"Dead, you can do nothing! Alive, you might just be able to redeem yourself." Quote taken from the film "the last king of Scotland"

When you see yourself drowning, you need to take a leap out! A bird is meant to fly, alone or in a pack. You may need to go into hiding to heal your wings and soar!

Many may not understand you, many will accuse you, because you may be breaking their comfort zone. Some have gotten used to seeing your head down and feed off it. Some get tired of seeing you down and actually want you to take that step but know they have no right to push you over that bridge! It is really no ones job to make a decision for you!

When an animal finds itself in a trap, it either surrenders or chews off its limb! Staying alive is the ultimate purpose to survival, even if it hurts! Life will move on regardless of if you make or break! Depression is a path that leads to death! You have killed your soul, before your body turns cold!

Don't endure, stay alive, should you do so and move your soul you will find an island that was waiting for you! Your past exist to push you forward not to drag you down! Take that leap, it is ok, it is your right to stay alive, so you may live for another day of promise!

Do not put the Lord your God to the test!

Jesus answered, "It is said: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"

Have you ever wondered why those dreams seem to take so long to come through? You have tagged them to a timeline! If he is timed dont you think his angels will put it in His calendar along side all the 7billion wishes of others? Haven't you recognised sometimes that as soon as you willed something it came to you in an instance? Prayers that have no timeline indicate faith and that is what he needs from you! Have faith! Peace be still! He doesn't operate on timelines, he operates on faith!

Raped, Abused, Molested!

What happens to someone who is raped or abused or molested is that they stop being special, both in the eyes of the society and themselves. There is a spiral of self loathing that happens and very few know how to break out of it. The war that goes on within them is impossible to imagine. They are unable to treat anyone and themselves as special.

Every mistake that they make becomes another reminder of the pain that hasn't been healed. End the cycle of abuse by creating peace and give support. Don't blame them or yourself for not being there when it happened. Prevent such from happening by not pointing fingers and by empathy. If someone's experience frightens you, don't reflect it by pushing them away. They don't need pity, they need to stop living in that mentality and or physically.

The best way to treat someone as special, is not to create a special environment. It is to give them their space, weather to vent or to come out in their beauty and that means SPACE. You don't need to do anything just be there weather they run away or not, just be there.