Muhammad’s example is normative for Muslims!

Muhammad’s example is normative for Muslims, since he is an “excellent example of conduct”

(Qur'an 33:21) – and according to a canonical hadith, Muhammad’s favorite wife, his child bride Aisha, reports that Muhammad struck her. Once he went out at night after he thought she was asleep, and she followed him surreptitiously. Muhammad saw her, and, as Aisha recounts: “He struck me on the chest which caused me pain, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?” (Sahih Muslim 2127) Aisha herself said it: “I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women.” (Sahih Bukhari 7.72.715)

"Nearly half Saudi women are beaten at home," from Emirates 24/7, February 26 (thanks to The Religion of Peace):  

Nearly half Saudi women are beaten up by their husbands or other family members at home and many of them are hit by sticks and head cover, according to a university study published in local newspapers on Tuesday.

Surprisingly, the study found that the Bedouin men who still dwell the desert in the conservative Gulf Kingdom, are less violent than Saudi men in urban areas.  

The study found that the main reasons for violence against women include poor religious motives, drug addiction and alcoholism, arrogance and a tendency to control, psychological problems, poverty, and unemployment.

NOW LETS DRAW THE LINES IN THE SANDS OF TIME AND BRING SOME SENCE TO ALL THIS.

I took this part from a discuss i had with a group of friends and thought i should share. I dont speak much about Islam not because i hadn't lived it or know the culture of the people who live within the environment. It upsets me a bit because the forever throwing of daggers between supposed Christians and Muslims is getting to a level of absurd that both are loosing believers. Of course many would say why look at others just stick to your religion and worship in your own inner calling. Well this is exactly why many are leaving the faith, their inner calling is at loggerheads with what some want you to believe because it is convenient. My mother is Muslim and this makes one half of me being able to relate to the religion.

I do not wish to be un-objective about either religions but i think they both suck because of the people in it not because there is anything wrong with the law written within the books. For me any book is a book of code's that need to be decoded and its understandings solemnly depend on the character of the person who is holding the book. I heard a quote "if you want to hide anything from an African man put it in the books". I dont believe it really was said in direction towards the African but more the description fits the IGNORAMUSES.

Being struck in the chest could mean he broke her heart but then given that the mind that seeks excuses would take it as physical abuse is permitted. When women in Islam go through hurt due to death or other sorrows they beat their chest as well.

She was Mohamed's child bride usually a man of age treats her like a child, (talking from experience, that pissed me off greatly, but never the less many women enjoy it and want it, trust me after some time you will get tired of it), no woman is a child after she has had her first child, let alone 2 or 3. there is an awakening that happens instantly from the moment she knows she has taken in, a sense of wisdom kicks in born of natures natural instinct to protect and care.) Being a child bride she was thus a favtoy! If he was a man of example he would have had to have won the hearts of all and that includes women to retain thus power. Beating often could be using unfair verbal reprimand for distrusting him. The arabs have a very spiteful tongue, they can harm you verbally more effectively than what a knife cant do. They have very sweet and tender descriptives, where they describe a woman's beauty like that of a Lilly and they can equally call you names that manure would sound like gold after they have finished with you but again those who want to look for excuses will do so!

On an average most women aren't weak, they can kill you without even you knowing and I know Muslim women aren't different from the Christian women! My mother is Muslim, hell has no fury like hers! She is small but mighty, if a Benin man with all his pride needs to be given a medal. Imagine me 10 times amplified :). Besides if there was a record of physical abuse ask any forensic in moments of rage it is very uncomfortable to hit someone in the chest. It is usually the face with a slap, or hit the legs. No man uses a fist on a woman, check the nature of yourselves as men, a slap is enough to knock a woman down!

I lived and grew up with men and dated men, they calm when they sober and women can drive them mad with just a word :), men are bold to hit a woman only when they under influence "mind manipulation or substance abuse" and a woman only gets pissed at a man when he is under influence. By the way the fact that they can marry more than one wife makes the man less violent and the woman less demanding of his attention. For those African men who go out to their love birds let me burst y'all's bubble here, una wahala too much so we don't mind you going to give it to another :) "my friend here is telling me to shut up because am giving out our girls gist" y'all aren't that great in bed, let another teach you some tricks and maybe he has a little dick?" hehehehhe I am sure for this words that hurt the ego a woman will get a beating even from a Christian man! Some women sure are wicked just as men are violent!

The beduins are not as violent because they know a lot of their survival is due to the women. Men are practical about life, they don't spit in the cup they are going to drink from! Except they are manipulated by people or substance.

Trust me if the Islam women were tired of their situation men will have no choice. Just as circumsition being fought out its because women are protesting against it. The Islamic women have a skill that the Christian woman should look into, the art of negotiations, she can talk jetway out without the man even knowing anything. And the black vail they wear is protection from the harsh sun, a weather that can damage their skin. Black is mystique which draws inquisitiveness from men. So they ain't really suffering. check out the scene from Sex and the City 2. you will know. apart from the fact that the Arabian women are so beautiful that they need to hide themselves from men who are neanderthals (we all have them, and thats got nothing to do with religion).

We find what we seek! And an eye for an eye will make the word go blind and we Christians are also begging for it in search for our relevance and dominion over heavenly realms (the mind of man). There are cowards in the world who use religion as a coverup for their deeds!

Any man be christian or Muslim or Buddhist who lays his hand on any man or woman or child or old is a coward in my dictionary! You may fight, but never slay using religion as an excuse!

I was born and grew up in Uzbekistan in the city of Tashkent surrounded for most of my life by Muslims and the Asian culture and can only say never had I been treated like an unbeliever or extricated or violated. I have never really spoken about Islam on my posts and that's not because I have nothing to say but I guess the time hasn't come until now!

May Allah be with you all my half brothers! Hold on to the best principles of Islam and do not covert their brothers home. as it is apparent many of my Christian brothers are now doing in the bid to have dominion. In the same city of my birth we had the ignorant, illiterates and we called them hyenas, they walked in packs and attacked the lone walkers. Every society has that!

Drugs and alcoholism is sure a huge influenza or to violence against women, this is one of the catalyst to the South African crime rate and abuse of women. If you look at the men in both nations you Will be disgusted to be a woman!

My question is this. Would and can a man abuse a woman who is like MADEA?

Church Heathen!

Churches have always embraced the down throned! Why are we surprised if Jesus stood by a prostitute? Unless it is the dressup that is shocking?

He who hath no sin cast the first stone!
Since when does the healthy need a doctor!?
I am beginning to wonder what wives do our boys seek in the temple?

Celestina Omeneki-gold said: Alsu, i applaud you for standing up for these ladies, i would have done the same,except this story is not true. These ladies were not at a church, but at some fashion function or so. Read it yesterday and the "Konbat Kontinues" was confronted by someone who knew of the show and his story was debunked. Sad that it had already circulated(and still circulating) fb. Church leaders have done some wrong, but lets not add to their attrocities with lies!

Well if women are paraded on the streets of life as trophys, why should they be shy in church? Does geography change a rat? If they met Jesus in the streets wouldn't they show it in church? I am beginning to understand this effect, church is a reflection of the society we live in! If the richeous women come all glittering and the richeous men come in parading their flashy cars, why shouldn't they come with their trade mark, given that they are accepted and patronised in the society?
I would invite them to show the hypocrites what they do than coming to the house of The Lord pretending to be upright, at least they are honest!

Celestina Omeneki-gold my sweet sis you know I can be naughty as well as naive! My naïveté comes as a result of what I see. Our girls have turned to harlots; students instead of studying are carried out by their sugar daddies!

I am one who will stand up for a prostitute any day but who will stand up for the yet to be corrupted gal or gals? For the kombats to post this it means there is a problem. For it to go that viral means people are looking for physical evidence to what they witness inside. There is no smoke without fire! I understand that sis you are a lawyer and you deal with evidence etc but intuition, perception are facts, they prompt people further into action. There is a reason even TV stations have PG ratings because perception is powerful.

Emeka intelligence isn't in just smelling a rat. You want to tell me you have no inclination to add that this even in a fashion event is horrendous and soon wouldn't start happening in church? The gals may not be dressed like this but there are complaints circulating and such as private jets being bought by pastors! If the Catholic Church is going through what they do in reference to child molestations and gay priests, is it prostitutes being in the house of God that we should be ashamed to say is there? You see, for it is all those well dressed sugar mummies and daddies who come well dressed and ogle the young! Would you be surprised? I wouldn't !

I will applaud a prostitute who comes to church in what she works in because it would shame those who come to be with them just a night before. The picture itself of women dressed up like this on a fashion show is horrible, this ain't fashion nor style and the event is the temple of the industry. Someone needs to filter where what is appropriate.

On the naughty side if me I will ask; if to church all we demand is that people don't bring their outside life in and then we allow pastors to give sons wives, what are we setting ourselves up on!? This I think is what kombat may be trying to convey. Just because you dressed up like a Queen don't remove the harlot within! We are reacting badly to what the men with money allow themselves. I married a man 22 years older because I couldn't find one decent guy on the street who wasn't doing 419, every body get standard, I am not one to judge but one must discriminate!

Even in a fashion show this is bad! It's even worse because in church everyone is welcome!

It is hard to be richeous in a world that condemns itself!

Amazing how wonderful this world of life is, no one can take with them anything. A heavy soul descends, a soul without burden ascends. For the sake of your kids tomorrow cleanse the earth with deeds that assure our species grace and survival.

There is no way one would know the truth without getting your hands dirty! Wash it of and hug no one with the dirt of your bad experience! Everyone has made mistakes, point no finger at them and stop the perpetuators of ignorance!

Do not judge for the same measure will be apportioned to you! He who has been judged condemns himself and others in defence of him/herself. We are living in a world of principles and certain principalities take knowledge from personal events of others further trampling one in dirt.

Digging in their past will make your foot dirty. There is a tendency for those who are hurt by our judgements to sink you in further with them, they have nothing to loose and a lot to gain in making you just as dirty as they are, to give you a taste of what it is to be them.

They say be careful what you wish for you just might get it!

Well in relationships you really don't get what you give except you ask for it! Do we know what we want? 

We demand love in the same degree as we experience it within! Considering that human beings are subjective creatures, why would one pose ones wishes as the wishes if the other? If man is self condemning would he/she not mistrust what is given? Everyone deserves to be treated right regardless of your experiences that has nothing to do with the other. 

Just because one guy broke your heart don't mean others would. I need to heed to my own advice! Amazing world we live in, shut yourself and you will find who wants to release you! Relieve yourself and you will find who wants to cage you! What is the right thing to do? Experience tells you to find a balance!

If I say I love you I will be giving you what I want to get because that's all I know of. I will be showing you indirectly "subconsciously" how i want to be treated. Arnt we setting ourselves up for failure at start assuming that what we are giving is what the other wants? How do you know if what you are giving is what the other can give? Strengths differ. Wouldn't it be safer to ask "how would you like to be loved or treated?"

• In reference to friendship if I treat you In a manner, I would be indirectly telling you how I want to be treated. So why would it be the same in the love relationships?
• In reference to business areas if we want to make money why don't we set solutions that would help the clients make money?

If men are busy buying their women's affections wouldn't they have a trophy? Why should you be expecting anything in return apart from a shiny object? In return you cage it because you are afraid innately you built nothing within that individual. In the bid to possess you cage! 

If women are supposedly demanding security and men loyalty, shouldn't they give the opposit to each other since that attracts? Men want security, women want loyalty. Hmmmm how often does one get rewarded with what they need? Magnet- opposits attract!

I am a very respectful child!

I am a very respectful child, but I choose what to accept from my elders! Half of their advice comes incomplete from their experiences and subjective analysis of my strengths.

My parents are shocked to who I am today and the strengths I exhibit because they didn't notice I watched them even when they thought I didn't listen to their advice. I read between the lines and questoned their actions!

I am proud of the men in my family, they built me a strong personality image, never killed the spirit of the individual that reflected their strengths and humble to the memory of the women in my family, whose experiences made me enduring to the cause of womanhood.

Dads are very important in a gals life and moms of course to a boy, building the tender or strong side to life! Now I am a mother and auntie. I have a job to do to keep the next generation strong as I was allowed! The social family is just as much important as the nuclear family, because our kids belong to the world not us! Every lost kid is a lost society, every cheated kid is a cheated society. We adults need to understand that what goes around comes around!

We are borrowing from the future by what we do today, reflective of the past!

Oliver Twist- Who caged you?

I loved and lived in fairy tales, I have always imagined myself either RobinHood or Athos (one of the Musketeers) and always had my quests outlined and hoped to find like minds as mine! Unfortunately i have been riding on my own but the journey isn't less adventurous.

Lies! some are sweet and some are dark! I love my sweet lies, they keep me going so long as i am the one dreaming my vision up. I pick the puzzles of the picture i see. We are all used to stories, it is our fab past time to listen to gossip of how someone else had lived their life. We use them subconsciously to place landmarks for ours! The lives of our leaders are far from the truth to what we see or are shown! What it took for Oprah to have a mind that She has would be hard to absorb in one day so some truths need to be coated and left for later. 

We are afraid of the truth because we really are very self critical. We will shut down the truth because "We cant handle it" as Jack Nicholson had said! Now how many of them quotes we know today were really told by those who they said quoted them? Well these people are respected so why not just add a bit more grease to their elbows right? It dosnt really take away anything, right? Or they call anonymous those quotes whose name they wish not to compromise. PR is such a devil, that i refrain from using anyone to do my publications, i'd rather die from my own mouth and shamed for my grammatical blunders of the soul than deceive anyone to be what i am not. I aint here to impress, just a gal doing her thing and happy you read what i have seen or experienced. I read yours too :) and same it is with my bro. He is just as honest to boot as i am maybe even worse, at least he aint pretending. There is no grace in spending money you steal by lieing to the public, thats how our parents brought us up. They did bring us up honest now they are like "cant these kids shut up sometimes?" Sorry habit daddy.

Milli Vanilli sang to us, yeah it was disappointing to find out that the Music industry lied to us because we probably wouldn't have accepted the face to the original voices.  We are so full of shit that we probably deserved to be lied to. Knowing nothing of our strengths we are actually persuaded off our natural strengths. We hate people who are proud of themselves and stand against principles widely adopted as a norm even when it is obvious it is leading us to doom because we recognise that we could be them but don't know how or afraid to shift just a bit away from the old to the new! We cling to those who we have been forced to believe think like us and then after a while realise "oh dear this isn't who I like" but we have made commitments such as friendship or relationship or a vow to stick to a religion that is clearly eroding our spirit and we have those guardians of faith who actually physically harm you if you wish to leave.

We have been conditioned to lie to ourselves. We continue to live in that environment not because we like it but because we don't want to be extricated, left alone having to survive. Parents is the society that teaches their kids their own truths conveniently and self serving, used in protecting themselves or keep them kids illusionary protected "doped"! Did they think the old walls will hold when the new demands its turn? Milk teethes are always replaced. Teach your kids transformation, remove the rigid walls of self serving morals that arnt theirs.  In Africa our kids are still our pension, In the developed world at least the kids have been given a breather by parents who fought for the true meaning of parenthood! Maybe this happened by mistake! Who knows! Ask those rebels for parents who dared not to follow the crowd and you will find out the reason they may not advise one to follow their example! They call them rebels and may have lost their lives or close ones for a piece of their sanity, some succeed without a loss to their lives but sacrifice of a good living! As a society there are evidence of leaders being murdered for what they believed to be right and true!

Little red riding hood was a story invented to keep girls from the big bad wolf because there was no other way from protecting girls from men at the time. Today it is just a story yet it still has the same effect "put fear!" kids are perceived reckless, in the bid to try protect them we hurt some and keep some but that feeling, is hard to erase. It transforms into other areas creating complexities parents themselves become confused in, such as lack of self confidence and esteem.

Kids were told the story of Hansel and Gretel to protect them from falling pray of people who lure them with ...... Sweets, in another meaning for words of lies "witches". After the story became so wide spread people actually believed witches existed and some even took up the profession as mediums and in the bid to enforce people to believe in them they did make some predictions come true. How about being setup? Some old lady passes by you and says "you will be rich", or "you will be attacked in 5 days" and you snob her off rather than give her a penny for the warning and in 5 days she will send the gang to come harass you. Witchcraft isnt that much voodoo as much as it is a staged game on you.

There are parents that so crave power that even within the walls if their homes treat their kid so bad, that the child wishes they were an orphan and for the child to survive he has to learn to lie to protect himself should they have seen the opportunity to run. They after have to lie to the askers about their parents and the society levels them bad if they dare tell their story! "thou shall honour thy parents" after all God himself said it, so the kid has no hope to whom to go. So they lie to survive! "A parent cant possibly hate their child" every body shouts! Havnt you heard of mothers and fathers jealous of their kids confidence or beauty? Ivan the Great was one. You will only know the truth when they let you close to them or when its to late to save a life! I work with youth and I see the damage done to these kids who were made to believe in what isn't good for their future, or made to lie to keep their future. Sometimes i have to lie to bring them out, it is called "reverse therapy" to trick the mind to open up but then there is the other side "How do you tell the truth without little lies to soften the blow"?

Kids they say can be hurtful, we have created this stereotypes of beauty, that when one doesn't have the shape or size as Heidi Klum or Naomi Campbell we rule ourselves and others as ugly! There are actors we have wet dreams about and if a guy that approaches you and he doesn't quite look it, we say "sorry you are not my type". Or we say a sweet lie like, "i am in love with someone else". How can one be outrightly rude to say "You know, i am dyeing for Harrison Ford!" :) I am sure the same person out of his hurt will tell you "dream on" or would say to you, "you aint Harrys type". Telling sweet lies protect you from the attitudes of others.

Would we know who is our type if we weren't given an example?  I am sitting here watching Diane Keaton a woman in her 50 kissing Keanu Reeves who is 38 in the film called "Something's Gotta Give" and I am pissed :) Why? I like him to bits but then some would go on a crusade to look for him in every man and even him himself and then be surprised he isn't what they saw on screen because DAH he is acting on a script! I am also pissed that i live in a society that has created this lie about age being a factor to consider when in marriage that it has led gals like me to believe a man older than me has some brains. A wise heart is what one should be looking for.

A Lie is an evil script, delivered to achieve an aim but the author of it dosnt know what would be its effect. Misleading others into disaster and same it is with the truth, it could either cause damage or bring healing but the crusader should be wise and know when, where and how to deliver it. How many have the skill of communicating and faith in man or the person before them? One may have been mistaken and said something out of line, but that ain't a lie. A lie is a cooked up plan aimed at getting a specific result, what witchcraft really is. Maybe it's why religion and science are at log aheads. :)  Who knows who is lying and who is saying the truth? Only time can tell. The deeds of men within these is what makes it stand or fall. I always believed that there are 6 billion people on earth (dont know if it is true but we have to accept it, i sure know i didnt count) and with these 6 billion come 6 billion varying truths and lies, now you know why we are in such a mess. Is there something like the truth and nothing but the truth? Life sure is a fact. This no one can dispute.

A Lie is a script, delivered to achieve an aim but the author of it doesn't know what would be its effect. People shouldn't take every word uttered personal because that's when it takes hold of you and starts ruling your world! A compliment is a lie if you know you didnt earn it, it's called flattery. If you are beautiful say "na God do am", dont accept it as though you were the creator of it. If you feel beautiful then you know you have enhanced it within and can see you are beautiful through the lines of your face. What makes your beauty ugly is when you are rubbing others blind with it. The art of witchcraft, is when they attack your mind to accept an idea through gossip, slander and fabrication of facts! Everything that picks your fancy must be put to test! Depends on the liability level of course! Take your pick, dont forget to use a toothpick.

Remember the beautiful Lady in Red in "the Matrix" movie? Get distracted and when you turn around she has a gun to your head? But can we live in a world where we dont believe in anyone and anything to be real? Humans are social creatures, i refuse regardless of my downs to live a life of a rat!

Kids are often deaf, so a slap sometimes drives the truth home. :) Hey you! Wake up from your slumber! Have you ever as a parent one day turned around and said "I don't recognise my child anymore?" That happens to every parent because they all of a sudden realise they had spent all this time programming their child to act and talk a certain way! And then it all goes to smoke! That effort does come with a little too much effort in brain washing! We fit them with people who we think think like us and shield them away from people who we think don't think or behave like us!

You know how they say give a poor man money and you will see his true colour? or a chameleon changes its colour based on the environment it is in or decides to be? What is his true environment do you know? Survival instincts make us lie, we are all protecting our strengths to survive, be it on a physiological level or on the esteem level. Would it end?

I believe everything and nothing, what ever has no substance or can not be tested is therefore not true to me but then maybe even this thinking of mine is also a delusion. I choose to believe in what would push me there. That's why people believe, they have something to gain when telling or interested in the stories, they got the truth they need to move on.  It isnt about ideologies its about substantiating. Even the stories in the bible are half myth half examples of other people's lives compiled. Some people want and crave for the story of the treasure islands because it leads them on the adventure. They may not be interested in the actual treasure, they may not find it, but they lived in pursuit of it and that is their truth!

I have sobered up Captain Sparrow! Where is the Rum?

Why do people complain?!

My question is how can "i, you, me, we, they" those who live in the same neighbourhood think they as an individual are going through things alone. If he gets his head out of the sand he will see that the neighbour has same issues but maybe solving it in his own way.

We complain alot about how this and that, Why do many people like to complain for the sake of complaining, insteading of saving complaints for when there's really something to complain about? Yeah, it's hot outside. We all know. Shut-up. You know, that kind of complaining. My witty friend Amanda said.

Complaints are also a method of distraction as much as it is a release of tension, but then who is it beneficial to? I think it creates more hell than therapy. You know how they say out of the abundance of the heart the mind speaketh? Your complaints say who you are. Haven't you ever wondered why people run towards those who speak of opportunities or draw to those who find solutions? Well its called positive energy. no one is saying you should swallow your pain but dont make it another headache. Are you seeking attention? Hug a teddy thats pretty much whats on ones mind when they hear a cry baby. You can only feel sorry so much for an adult except there is major injury or catastrophe but then the person wouldnt be talking, he will be stating facts and with a disposition to looking for solutions.

I would ask "why do people complain about what they themselves have caused"?
Havnt you noticed that you start getting more complainy when you are around people who are complainy? And if you start paying close attention, we complain A LOT and do nothing! Do we create our own stress, by complaining too much?

"This toilet seat is always up. These boys never put it down."

Then guess what, you're bound to be pissed/stressed every time before you even you walk into the bathroom to take something as simple as a pee.
But you could just walk in, not think about, put it down or wipe it with a tissue, sit down and then pee. Go out more happy and relieved than when you went in. Women sometimes, we are really jobless or hey guys why not reengineer the bathroom, put a facility that will prevent you from spraying the toilette, but no it is fun to give a woman a headache, how about we live the toilet as you left it. I am sure you would love your home to stink like the public utilities or would you like it if there was a sticker that clearly undermines your intelligence?

CNN voicing events in the world has made us all fearful and doubtful etc, we are all looking for where to hide, its what i call noise pollution. Imagine one thousand generators humming in one area for the duration of one year none stop. People crack under stress and words do create pressure.

Another "why" friend Cara said, she just like i actually made a point lately to not watch TV, especially the news and have been paying less attention to politics. She even stopped listening to NPR! "I just can't take it right now. I need to focus on the good things in my life and accomplishing my own personal goals. I want to make a positive impact in the world, but I can't do that when I feel like I hate everyone and everyone hates me! News organizations have been/ are fear-mongers, and the masses seem to crave negativity. There is, however, a difference between complaining and being afraid. Fox "News" doesn't just complain about Obama; they make things up in order to scare people and make them think he's the next Hitler (which is laughable).

Personally i 15years ago threw away my television and watch cartoons with my kids. I dont even come from a generation that was stuck like glue to tv, parents used to drive us outside to play but then maybe thats just me and the family i grew up in. I used to have a boyfriend who would wake up with sky news and sleep off with it next to me. He didnt even know why he would be depressed, in my bid to try and remove it from the bedroom, he put up a big fight. I left the bedroom for him and started sleeping in my own space. In the morning i would wake up bright and sunny while he grumpy, depressed, not looking forward to the day at the office and whats worse he has a tv there that was on CNN also. Eventually we ended the relationship. I cant understand why the complaints of the world should affect me or sleep in my bed. If you want peace you will seek it. Its almost like without CNN or the Newspapers man feels he has no action in his life and then you wonder why your libido is low? BLOODY STRESS of other nations and people is killing you and then you blame it on your GF who is 37 because she dont look like that 17yearold skeleton on the FasionMagasine.

Women in general have daily hassles, i am sure 90% of women dont know what it is to sit in front of the tv for even 20 minutes in peace, even if we wanted to we can't, its either time to do home work or make dinner; example, my 3 year old invents something to mess the house with and there it goes my peaceful time, i have another job either to scream or go tidy up.

Another "WHY" friend Aryck said "In the midst of one of those goofy Ohio blizzards and all of the complainy FB posts that went along with it, a friend of mine posted "The weather outside is weather' That pretty much sums it up. You can stress about it all you want, but it's not changing. Worry about the stuff you can change." I gotta say, it seems folks spend a lot of time finding problems, but not a lot of time proposing solutions. Maybe things wouldn't seem as bad if we didn't focus on what is wrong all the time, and focused on what is right, and maybe on how to make more things right. Maybe..

Yes we do create our own stress and the effect of complaining is that it becomes a habit that eventually distracts from the real /or bigger issues that need attention. We burry ourselves in these global wars and issues that are not even happening in our nebour-hoods but forced to affect us by our government and then we go to pay someone for therapy. Imagine the transfer of stress is a way to create more jobs for the therapeutic industry? Half the time people dont hear you when you complain, most get really irritated by it because what runs in their mind is "What are you going to do about it?" or "do you think i should be sorting out your issues?" especially if they know you are the cause of it. In other circumstances if it is hot for you it is hot for everyone. Everyone within a given area suffers same pressures but everyone deals with it in their own way. If one is seeking for a solution or to drive a positive communication all one needs to do is ask :"why is it so hot today?" in a sunny disposition and you wouldnt believe how many will connect to same experience rather than make them feel like they should give you a solution to an impossible problem.

My Amanda added: If you're saying it for a reason, you could say, my head hurts, so I hope you don't mind if I lie down for a bit. That's not a complaint. Or, "you never talk to me anymore." You could say, hey I'd love to have a conversation with you. And yes, sometimes we just want to be pitied for some reason...it's true.

"Why do they make these toys so hard to get out of the packages." I sometimes try to make my complaints sound like jokes. So that I can complain but the frustration doesn't come with it. "This is wrapped like a glass dick." (in that case, you wouldn't be able to say it in front of kids :)) who cares you might as well say it and all have a laugh.

Today i said the word Shit not realising i had a frustration with my girl going at something dangerous, as always flying of the chair thinking she is CAT WOMAN and then she turns around and repeats it, my son said to her "dont say that" it pleased me to know that my son is waking up to the world, he now knows what profanity is and it made a mum happy that her son is getting there. Sometimes all these rules that we cage each other with; dont do this and dont do that is what has created a world where we almost seem like we hate each other. Say it if you must but bring it to a solution and leave with a free heart that you had a conversation and retained a friend and not a crying shoulder.

Basically, there are two types of complainers: those who complain for the sake of complaining, and those who complain, but then you could also take the necessary action to change whatever it is that they are complaining about if possible.

thanks Amanda, Cara for the engaging convo about complaining about the complainers lol